Explications

More I travel... Simpler I become

2011-10-22T12:06:00.000-07:00

Have now traveled to Thailand, UK, Malaysia, Indonesia, Luxembourg, Hungary, Sweden, Austria, France, Switzerland and Italy (makes it one more the TEN to tango.....)

What have I learnt--

Have learnt to be sensitive to cultures -speak slowly and understand the sensitivities -someone likes his coffee, some his meat and some his wine
There is much more than the English language - most of the countries had their own local languages - Do I need to learn any of them?
Professional writing is a key strength. Am lucky to learn from Ted's 56-year experience of British english :) - Write short, precise and powerful sentences.
Core principles of business remain the same - but decision making cycles differ and complexities are sometimes accepted as inherent
Fewer the words, the better - every word introduces a perception
Smile often - it is better to be perceived as a fool who smiles unnecessarily than as a guy who is an energy sucker, who frowns and grunts - reminds me of the Mr. Energy Sucker :)
Keep team structures simple - everyone wants to be a reviewer and a business leader - but the key contributions come from the doers
What makes a successful team - ample work to keep the team busy, followers who look up to leader(s), respect for each other's private space and goals, ability of the team to articulate a problems/challenge in one sentence (Richard's famous last words) and of course an adequate pay-scale
Portuguese have a standard perception on the Germans, Germans think of British in a different way, The British and the French blame each other for their invective(s), Italians are mindful of not having any coffee beyond 5 PM, the Swiss are confused due to a tri-lingual existence, Luxembourg is nothing but a commercial district whose population doubles during work hours (with people coming in to work from neighbouring countries)
Beyond topline and margins, it is also about sustaining an investor eco-system and a customer base (through brand building)

Doing business is not a monotone.... treat is just as you would want to treat your life... !! Find examples from real-world visuals, motions, conversations and facial contortions - Nature houses numerous novel ideas to do better business

Relieved Or Not??

2009-12-15T10:04:00.000-08:00

Have a lot of ideas in mind, but am spoilt for chances and choices and my decision-making finesse seems to have taken a sabbatical; and the solvent is surely making it difficult for me.

It is the time when I need to put hard stops and initiate hard starts in life. Impatience is beginning to overpower my though circles and suspicion seems to expand its ripples beyond the peripheral concentric.

But to swing the discussions, life took the much required U-turn and came alongwith ample fresh air to kicstart new initiatives....

What might have been ramifications turned into claw backs all the way to the root structure. Have met some reasonably good people and some extremely learned gentleman. The past 5 months in UK have made me value experience and I welcome each and every moment as it comes.... the fact that I don't battle unreasonable expectations does give me the much required breather

Having hot chocolate at Paul's outside The Strand

Having lunch at Sally Luns at Bath - famous for its buns

Having dinner at Asha's in Birmingham

Having the wretched risotto at the Leux de Salons

The stroll through the old city of Stockholm

The few minutes by river Danube in Vienna

The wilderness of the Friday evening in Yates or MetroClub

Is everything comforting or relieving or gratifying?? - Nothing more than the change that you have brought along !!

What Einstein had to say... and What we have to comprehend

2009-11-02T16:00:00.000-08:00

"How strange is the lot of us mortals! Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he sometimes thinks he senses it. But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people -- first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is wholly dependent, and then for the many, unknown to us, to whose destinies we are bound by the ties of sympathy. A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving... "

I have never looked upon ease and happiness as ends in themselves -- this critical basis I call the ideal of a pigsty. The ideals that have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth. Without the sense of kinship with men of like mind, without the occupation with the objective world, the eternally unattainable in the field of art and scientific endeavors, life would have seemed empty to me. The trite objects of human efforts -- possessions, outward success, luxury -- have always seemed to me contemptible.

"My passionate sense of social justice and social responsibility has always contrasted oddly with my pronounced lack of need for direct contact with other human beings and human communities. I am truly a 'lone traveler' and have never belonged to my country, my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart; in the face of all these ties, I have never lost a sense of distance and a need for solitude..."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Right said mate........ and I would echo the above words to a great extent. It has been these unusual thoughts that have usurped my mind of late. I am beginning to realise the larger intended purpose of my creation. And the incorrigible entropy is to facilitate the much needed change in others' lives. We all know that entropy increases as a matter and energy in the universe that eventually culminates into a state of inert uniformity... but then its the entropy that brings about the uniformity. This is a logical testimony to the fact that there exists within us a supernatural capability of becoming the harbinger of change in other people's lives....... and keep bringing them until they fear no further change, a state where they would accept change as visceral.

Lot of things have happened of late. Visited the environmentally blessed UK (although with a task to point out chasms in BT's environmental strategy), travelled extensively (although had only 2 completely free weekends out of the total of 6 weekends) and most importantly developed the art of initiating new conversations and making new friends. Although, there seems to be a lot of uncertainity in the future in terms of my location and profile... even at a month's interval......... I seem to be enjoying the precarious signals that life seems to offer. However, all said and done - the recent travails have instilled a sense of self belief along with an evident boldness to give it back during times of opprobrium. And this is what I call the state of verity, where there exists a judicious mix of immanence and transcendence in thoughts, actions and words.

Swati would definitely agree that I would have brought tons of change in her outlook towards life. Although, we may take different roads up north and south some time soon, there remains the fearless ability to darn that we would call a mutual contribution to each other's strenghts. I may not be able to do a lot for her as it has always been the other way round.

Pankaj may struggle with his work-life balance, but I have always tried to wrap that blanket of positivity that he so crazily aspires for. Pessimism does him in on most occassions but I should continue to give him my wise (atleast I would want to believe that) conunsel time and again.

Ruch had a huge conundrum to come out of....... and I guess my perspectives brought about the much needed change in her life. I would always have to play the role of the precursor and ensure the sustenance she so richly deserves. Notwithstanding, all that she is doing for me.

Bangalore Gang has been the highlight of the numerous memories of late. I played the role of a mere observer on most occassions, often leveraging on the good work of many others. But here I am, at a stage when I can effectively hearld the change that each one so dearly wishes to have. Badly want to help Dhruv and Yatendra get a new chore for themselves, but my realm of influence seems to be extremely limited now. Its been great to have Anuj in my team and it would be great if we could complement each other in the MBS initiatives as well. I am sure for the numerous questions he has, my answers would fortell a stronger approach for him. Would want to spend a few hours with Dhawal, Anubha, Suman and Marut and am sure can bring out a novel thought dimension in their outlook towards life (Dhawal seems to be toughest nut to crack... although he easily wilted under the lavish praise that I subjected him to in my recent email)

Corbett Gang has an intersection with the Bangalore Gang, but have to revive my interactions with each one to a degree beyond the cursory greetings (read ridiculing). Did try to find a chore for Khandu ji but it was heartening to know that he found his way to Mumbai and is doing what a Baniya does best. Jayant continues to crib but its more about the cup he choses to have the coffee rather than the coffee. But the contemporary highlight has been the stitch in the straw with Sharma and I tried to the best of my limited abilities to help him with his letters and essays. It was a great meeting him (...I just cannot wait to get back to London to visit the unexplored). Akshay, Alok and Uniyal would have their own turbulations but I have noticed that pep-talks have started to make unimaginable differences now. Looking beyond the gang, I would consider myself grown in stature if I manage to change the two unfathomable examples of obstination - Johney and Sanjay. These guys are gems who have to be told that to shine is an obvious trait they need to exhibit. I sometimes wonder at the ways in which they tried to enshroud their skill sets.

It is also a time when I strive to bring about the difference in my family beyond monetory and proletarian contributions. Although the efforts would entail statutory warnings, I guess every change requires one and it is only me who can do so.

Of late... quite a few friends have voiced their concerns over me being single. At the same time, they agree that I have evolved as a person and their perception of me has undergone volumes of change (for good .. is my understanding). Although it catches me unawares every single time (and am quite bemused whether I am really so)... but the retort I gave to Anubha today caught my attention. I told her that I will be the changed person, that I am, only till the time I fall for someone (yet again...). For a change, the distant relationship(s) ensured that I took time out to explore many more personas (read Bangalore Gang and many other common friends) and it has been an enthralling experience.

PS: Feel sorry for Ipek. She brought me a drink and I was not there to acknowledge the kind gesture. Someone please activate my international connection soon so that I call and apologise. I might need an approval from Doc... but what reason do I give him???????????

Frustrations turned down

2009-10-25T03:56:00.000-07:00

Even my writing sometimes smells of hypocrisy to me. Time and again, I go on this spree to kill the prevarications but to no avail. Such times bring back immediate memories of misery and solitude. However, the only way I have grown is that I am able to immediately switch my thinking jumpers to memories that take me on a sway to cloud number 9. This realization only reinforces the abstract fact that I now have a lot more benevolent memories to drub the malevolent ones. And I guess this is what makes me the Strong one - whose existence seems to be so difficult to believe for Hippo.

This concurrence of thoughts and events has to end at any cost. We take steps only to kill the immediate apprehensions but the long-term view seems missing in most of us. And for a change, I am one who believes that there need not be any short-term compromises for achieving the long-term goals..... I have been doing so ... winning immediate battles and at the same time am well in control of the steps required to win the war !!

Vishu Sahasranama Adhyaya comes as the guide that helps me navigate the eternal misappropriations !!

Palimpsest

2009-09-17T02:04:00.000-07:00

The title means a manuscript that has been written with the previous text incompletely erased. We all write palimpsests in our minds in forward (or rather) backward looking ways. We do not seem to do away with our past, we are most often anxious as to what future beckons and in the process, we seem to minimize our existentialism in the present.

I used to regret, brood or envy my past and was always of the opinion that I could have achieved much more. It is a different proposition altogether, that I was (in most occasions) the focal point of envy for a lot many others and what amazes me is that each one managed to convince himself/herself that their envy was genuine. The reasons attributed towards such staunch convictions were plausible maws in my overarching speech in life (I meant plausible gaps in my personality). However, when I sit back and try to be envious, my thoughts seem to get caught in an immanent web and I fail to transcend across to look at faults with others. According to me, the entire mankind is sinful, then why do we attribute others as reasons to defend our contemporary sins (read envy in particular)?

Voila!! I now know how to delicately dictate my immanent and transcendent thoughts towards greater glory..... Immanence when down and out.... AND transcendence when elated... because ambitious goals will assuage humility... and propel me towards greater achievements. In the process of realizing and writing these musings, I guess I have overcome the envious vibes to a great extent. But definitely, there is still a long way to go ... before I surmount all the negativity...... and work towards serving mankind is ways that will be rightfully austere; without any disposition for brownie points... :)

I have always wanted to write about her.... my fingers are rearing but my mind has come to a stand-still. Very seldom does it happen that the body concurs but the mind stops......

Aah.. now I remember, that Coorg... thank you buddies.... I am sure all of us had a great time...
As always, Salman Khan rocks... though not many steps to imitate this time around..... neither do I have the college audience nor the critics to downplay upon.......

Love all and hate none.... I am writing this because I am sensing adequate envious vibes from a lot many these days....

Congeries is the way forward

2009-08-22T02:50:00.000-07:00

I used to be the most ruffianly cribber in life... Although never in front of the exterior.. I challenged every success or failure, every recognition or lack of it, every expectation or absence of any; and every expression or deficiency. In the process of challenging every dash, I had begun to wither my insouciance. Every success was rolled over when there should have actually been drum rolls. Every minuscule recognition in terms of people and processes should have been digested before setting a target for the subsequent one. Every expectation should be set without any alignment to realistic offerings and every expression should emanate irrespective of the populace.

In short, I used to crib about everything in this world until the moment I looked within... and arrived at a conclusion that if the world is accommodating someone as self-interested as I , I better start respecting every decision and every action directed at me or anyone else for that matter. It is one of my ardent beliefs now that congeries is the way forward and I should strive to evolve as an amenable conciliator.

Ever since, I have been at peace both with myself and my expectation settings. Life appears to be drum-roll and I have begun to savour every visual and grimace has become a word of the past. I started looking forward to vibes from the exterior and bumped onto loads of benevolence.

And let me try to something similar to what Dhruv last entry...

He does not quite realise the mess he is getting into. He may be enjoying the time and company right now... but I guess it will not be long before the discommodes commence
She believed that she had found the perfect match- her soul mate. But then came the day when she found out that her match did house similar doles of passion. Agonised and deeply pained, she moved on but looked for him in every other guy. She kept going back ... and still does the same... I wish she gets some respite from her emotional quagmire
He is one of the most prodigiously talented individuals I have come across... but pessimism and a laid-back approach rule the roost in most of his decisions. He does get an opportunity to come out of his cocoon but these opportunities are never the ones with complete independence... as always.. I wish him all the success in life...
Riding on to the second boat of relationships, she stumbled a bit but eventually found true love. She even went to the extent of searching about his parents on public domain... a weird act of adhesiveness.. and one find day she decided to close her relationship with him. I just cannot fathom the rationale behind her decision... but my sympathies for him
He is by far luck-personified... and I have observed opportunities walking all the way to his doorstep only for the entry to be stalled for a little while; courtesy his laziness. He has added a whole new dimension to his existence and I sincerely hope that he is adding feathers to himself rather than trying to stitch the wings (because we need two hands to clap.. and he can afford to dedicate only one hand)
Her cheer has always brought a smile ... and her vibes rejuvenated the entire surroundings..... but some strange decisions clipped her wings .. and she feels that she can no longer take the exponential growth curve ... because she cannot fly. I can only wish her all the best...
She may have taken a different path altogether ... without exhaustively experiencing the materialistic world in its entirely. My only wish is that her realisations and learnings do not translate into arrogance whereby one looks down upon people who do not take similar paths. If all of us take that path, then selected individuals will be no longer be of the chosen pedigree.
He is finally at peace with whatever he is doing in life. He has stopped questioning himself with issues that have no meaning in life. I am extremely happy for him because he has finally deciphered himself after an internal melee.

Congeries is the way forward... especially when there has to be a substantial savings on the energy front... am participating in a defining phase of my life as a part of Doc's team....

I challenged everyone's intention... until I looked within.... and like Charles De Gaulle.. started adoring dogs more than humans..

Receded for now...

2009-06-12T13:00:00.000-07:00

I loved you with the rock bottom of my heart... your thoughts filled me to the brim... Your breath gave me the sole reason to cherish my otherwise decrepit days of living...
Your smile meant the world of questions and answers to me...

And your presence as an attachment to my identity instilled the much need iota of confidence within me... in every situation.... in every role and across every pole...

But ALAS.... today... you continue to exist... with incremental flair and poise... while I struggle to make both ends meet when it comes to identifying myself with someone....

I really miss you....

And for all those who have already weaved their imagination webs, I am talking about the city with which I have had to part ways.... NEW DELHI.... It was tough packing from the city and shifting base forever....

I wish I could go back some day and reminisce those acutely nostalgic moments at those extremely commendable hang-outs, temples, grounds and roads...

And I have stopped listening to Delhi-6 .... Another noticeable change... So I was on my way to Dwaraka in the Delhi Metro.... I could see a lot of uncles and aunties proudly flaunting their tags that read Ministry of Defence, Ministry of Environment and others in the ilk. When I finally got to sit, although her constant rambles did divert me and I could not have afforded to stop her.... given the paucity of time... , the gentleman next to me was more keen on facilitating his child's government entrance examination rather than the IIT examination...Such thoughts are perfect indications of changing times.... We all know what stability can provide.... for once, it does break the circuit twice in our consitently inconsistent stock market...
Gung Ho... 6th Pay Commission... and ... UPA...

If only you could have worked for two more years DAD????

Beneficent diaries

2009-04-30T05:03:00.000-07:00

Na mandir mein Na masjid mein....
Na paave Kailash mein !!

Mein to tere saath mein bande...
Mein to tere saath mein !!

It is often said that brilliance has its roots in simplicity. The more a person tries to complicate his actions/words/thoughts, the more OFTEN he ends up screwing his stature and respect. I hope people take the appropriate pointers especially during the appraisal seasons.

We had been to Ooty- All of US... and for the first time in my life after class XII do I have no inhibitions in writing US (I may exclude the trip to Jim Corbett though...). For a self-encomium, I have always been a person who derives his energies more from within than outside. However, as time progresses here in Bangalore, I sense a visible dereliction to come out of this cocoon and gander at good times with the Bang Gang. Although, there may not be much of an involvement from my side in any of the activities, but the innate exchanges of words and vibrations amongst the members make me all the more impregnable. There are tremendous (and moreover benevolent) traits exhibited by each one of US ... and I feel that I've got a lot of catching up to do....learn more from others..... in order to effect a auger positioning.

Sometimes issues trouble me beyond description, but the past year has taught me to take everything in the stride and MOVE ON >>>>>>>>>>>>
I screwed GMAT without really coming to know till date a flaw in my approach that may have contributed to the abysmal attempt. But, it is my stint at WCS that keeps me abreast in such dismal times. I have an extremely potent job and this feeling drives my motivation levels and strategic planning initiatives. The two supervisors I have had till date have been the best facilitators .... agreed that I have had my share of differences, but more often that not, the gaps were reconciled to my satisfaction.

I should have moved over to the next pedestal in life, but the failure in GMAT has contributed to current flux in more than one ways. Maybe, it is not a good idea to starkly depend on a few events in life.... we should not look forward to a few select days and expect things to change thereon. Infact, we should reckon a change every day ..... not on a continuous basis ..... but on a Continual one... (Dhawal would agree to the difference between continuous and continual)

Patiently waiting and preparing for the day when I break the jinx

Happiness and Corporate Governance

2009-03-24T09:18:00.000-07:00

Mo ko kahan dhoonde re bande...
Mein to tere paas mein...

Na teerath mein na moorath mein ...
Na ekant nivas mein...

We just need to look inwards to find and realise our innate desires. The only caveat being the fact that you may find what you "need" and not what you "want". If I were to keep other happy through my words and actions, I would want to keep myself content and satisfied at the first place. One's embodiment of hope is not the world's obligation; in fact it is to do with shelving one's egotism and eccentricities.

The world misconstrues itself in glorified ways...

What i saw today makes me skeptical about the cynic and astute outpourings regarding the measures to improve corporate governance in India. I found that one of India's leading companies is writing off its impairment to assets through balance sheets rather than bringing it to the profit and loss account. I strongly feel that the firm should deduct the amount from its net profit but in ground reality, it deducts the amount from the share premium reserve. To surmise, the loss is not reflected in the bottomline and cataclysmic accounting sleights will be used to the hilt by corporates in botox their numbers.
I guess given the current economic downturn, organizations will certainly put one across and get away without disclosing their actual positions.

Long live gulling... We all do it in forward-looking ways

As things would have it, the three protagonists (in the pic) are reasonably happy at these times.... Reasons may vary... expressions may vary too... but extent of enrapture remains...the SAME

1:11 or 11:11

2009-03-23T11:20:00.000-07:00

Its an extremely strange observation but I am seeing a lot of ones these days.. whenever i throw a glance on my mobile or the laptop, it usually reads 1:11 or 11:11. And its almost the tenth consecutive day since it all started. These times strike the clock four times a day and I have been encountering them atleast three times (On Sunday the count was four).

Wonder what future has in the entrenched in its dictates, wonder what it takes....

Having said that, I cannot help but muse that I am surrounded by a lot of considerate and benevolent forces. The maturity quotient is witnessing an exponential rise with every passing day. Thanks to a wonderful coterie of individuals surrounding me and also to the one who supports me in absentia.

I scored 155 in the bowling alley on Sunday. I would regard this as one of my greatest performances just that the greatest performance comes in the game I know the least.
One last thing,it is heartening to see them blushing their way to unison

God effectuated emotions, experiences, feelings, states and attitudes. And then he created love...

The Important link goes missing

2009-03-20T02:48:00.000-07:00

I was left wondering... I was left in the lurch

I was left in the dark... I was left in my search...

For my fault, my short-comings, my pretence

For my mistakes, for my presentiments. my continued quest for defence

On the ground with a THUD...

2009-03-18T12:29:00.000-07:00

Addiction is Bad!!! No matter what is the subject of addiction.

I seem to be getting back to the old ways of discommoding myself. I should have never expected so much from today's visit. It may sound dramatic but it is heartbreaking. Once I start to feel so, the multiplier effect takes centre-stage and every event would appear to be condescending. It may be unprecendented, but even a disc is not able to lift my diluted spirits.

As Radish rightly pointed out, there will be a stage of dedicated detachment and it is all about knowing the coordinates of the end points along with the slope of the fine line, which must be drawn to differentiate the unwanted from the needed.

Am hearing a lot of Gulal and Mohammad Rafi among others. Piyush Mishra rocks with O re Duniya and Aarambh. I look for energetic vibes within tracks and these two are bewilderingly packed with motivational verses.

Yeh Duniya agar Mil bhi Jaaye, tho KYA hain?

Thank you SS

2009-03-17T13:05:00.001-07:00

You sent an extremely touching message today.

I was thinking about it while stirring the sugar in my milk in office today. Here comes my retort - " Sometimes we struggle through the bland coffee to the last dip, ONLY to discover sugar crystals prevaricating at the bottom of the cup.

That LIFE for most of us... Sweetened but not Stirred well !!! "

PS : Could have messaged, but I guess you will prefer it this way. I am sure I stir things quite well so that the exhilaration and the vehemence are well adjusted.

My Answers

2009-03-16T10:30:00.000-07:00

Its a great feeling to be answering my question in the Kala Bandar post

When will I write the third WCS Opinion? - Have come half-way by finishing the mobile advertising part and should have completed the mobile cloud part by now. But the Opinion been ensconced with the same status for the past week. But I will definitely complete it by the end of the week.
When will I submit the paper for the Innovation conference? - Have submitted the Opinion to the International Journal for Sustainable Strategic Management : A special issue on Innovation
When will I start quant? - Have started with Data Sufficiency question. The good part is that i scored a 51 in my second attempt
When will I submit the business opportunity identifications? - Thats one serious actionable. Will have to complete by the end of month
When will I be perfectly fine without any glitches in health? - This is something I have minimal answers to. ... host of physical and psychological dicates govern the roost

Its time to probe further

When will I fix a date for the exam?
When will i complete the articles on convergence of banking - telecom and increasing role of bandwidth?
When will I lift up my demotivated self ?

What I believe is what I rather not believe..

2009-03-02T08:28:00.000-08:00

I dont think I am, I know I am, or rather I believe I am

I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been cornered
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires

I believe forgiveness is the key to your unhappiness
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed
I believe that God does not endorse TV evangelists
I believe in love surviving death into eternity

------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry my dear friend... i know you are in trouble and i could decipher your veneration, but Alas some glasses break even before they are moulded.... I am struck and the unusual tactile sensations have given way and I am seemingly incapable of stitching those patches of misery.... but God be with you dost! And your Karma will surely result in better times ahead...

The worst part is that you have an idiot for company who just wants to potray to the world that he is a victim of its windings. You are a definite winner because not only you carry yourself with grace, also because of the fact that you also manage a non-starter

Strengthening the unstrengthened is best anecdotal trait of the impregnable

Delhi 6 - 'Kala Bandar'

2009-02-20T10:54:00.000-08:00

What i saw is beyond description... one has to see Delhi-6 to believe that there can be a perfect 5 on 5. Enthralling screenplay was surmounted over captivating background music, seriousness was blended with humour and messages were beguilingly conveyed with analogies.
Apart from the support cast, Abhishek Bachchan seems to have done the albatross by rising from his ashes, which till date symbolized his pathetic performances. The movie effectuated thoughts back into my schooldays when I used to frequent Chandni Chowk, the Paranthe waali gali and sometimes the Jama Masjid. Although, the coherence between Delhi and Dilli (the city of Hearted) has been highlighted time and again, but I will agree to the contradicting potrayal in Delhi-6. Suhel bears testimony to some of the depictions as his name had the Muslim scent to it and the way he saw the best/worlds of both worlds is wonderful/lamentable.

Delhi- Is it the city where I learnt to abuse, the city where I experienced my first brawl in the pub, the city where I punched a cop and ran for my life or is it the a panoramic facilitator of my identity.
Is it the city where I learned to dance, to play , to lead or is it the city that emanates whenever one my heart. I will never lose the visuals of those lanes and bylanes, those pubs and discs, those schools and colleges, those gardens and playgrounds. It is the city where i experienced affection, consideration and most importantly love. I may have experienced islands of jealousy and envy but it is miniscule when compared to what I witnessed outside Delhi.
At this point, I am reminded of two incidents:

The flick for a six over point as the ball made contact with the curved portion of the bat. I could not believe I played such a shot. The next ball went over point again for another six. And the very next ball, I recieved the worst of the blows on my head. It was not the ball but the bowler who was livid for conceding the match. What followed will be better if encrypted but the involvement of Inspector Jain was funny.
The day when I held your hand and said I Like U. It took me ten days of intense preparation. Thats how much is required when you break the ice for the first time in life. I wish I could experience the same insecurity and nervousness for one more time but I am sure, though not overconfident, that there are subtle tricks of the trade which will surface even if my try my best to curb them.

There is no generic needle for all stitches in life and I realised this well before time due to what happened in IIT lawns and what transpired between Svetlana and Mayank was another revelation on how life could be. To surmise, I consider myself extremely fortunate to have grown up in metro like Delhi. Apart from the glamour, it widened my discerning ability which gives me those nanoseconds to capitalise upon.

Back to work, first WCS Opinion is released the feedback I have recieved is very encouraged. 'Tele-king', 'Alignment-king' and 'Positioning Professor' are some of the amazing titles I have been conferred on. The second one is almost complete and the last review with Suhel was enkindling. GMAT preparation has started to gain steam and I wish to complete the exam latest by mid-April. The first score of 690 is a decent one to start with. Some questions that I am asking myself these days:

When will I write the third WCS Opinion?
When will I submit the paper for the Innovation conference?
When will I start quant?
When will I submit the business opportunity identifications?
When will I be perfectly fine without any glitches in health?

It is extremely sad to read these questions as it seems that I have deep-dived into my professional life. Where are these questions relating to discs, dates, visits to orphanages/old age homes that I used to ask and answer with relevant actions. I give myself another two months to come out of this quagmire. I guess I will be able to make it.

Adios

My Shortest Post....

2009-01-15T09:36:00.000-08:00

Three hurdles in GMAT verbal

Reading Comprehension
Sentence Correction
Logical Reasoning

And three words to end this forbearance

Get
Set
GO.......

Unending .... turbulations

2009-01-11T08:57:00.000-08:00

Am back to my old ways of venting my frustrations in this virtual piece of existence. A lot of thoughts seem to ravel my existence. I am also having problems with regards to multiplexing of actions and events. Add to this my deteriorating health, and thats what you call the icing on the muck (i wish i could instead write cake).

Notwithstanding, i have always prided myself as someone who has come out all the more stronger, with salient eruditions for company. I guess i am struggling to accentuate the same this time around but then confidence has been the forte. (My Dad always says that Language and Confidence is one's forte. It is only now that i comprehend and second his notion in totality). So let me strengthen my emplacement and instigate the locomotion. 'Nimma Benagaluru' has been the most assertive facilitation i have received till date. And it is high time, i aspire to effectuate my new year resolution... Some concrete strategies and subsequent litigations are required in order to sail through in a politically correct manner.

Some things never change...and i find myself in the same position yet again... as a person who is both looked upto and envied.... and being in the professional space... i can seldom relax or ignore these initial rifts. The cage has got wider and the animals are far from being instinctive. They have been trained in their respective colleges to rip apart the competition and slice and dice the meat (data mining has played its part over here); the caveat being, this is to be done without harming the tethered spirit better known as the 'organisational spirit'. But then i have my past experience as the most aggrandizing vantage. It needs to be a judicous balance between a frown within and a smile on the exterior or vice versa.

Thanks for the Tommy Hilfiger buddies... for a change, I will get to sport a branded watch without an innate motive of impressing. And i can highly indebted towards the bluetooth headsets, flowers, the cake and most importantly the 'green apples'.

Abundant positive vibes are interspersed by negative cocoons.... and this is where you will find the majority of human minds. Hatred, jealousy, false commitments, envy and others in the league are cluttered in these small funnels of negativity. No wonder, the 3G auction is delayed for good.... because everything only stands to increase as the most personal medium ' the mobile phone' will take centre-stage henceforth. And who will discount the power of social networking.

And i will thank the almighty for alleviating my 'egoistic desire' of clearing the CAT. Calls from IIMs L, I and K have proved my credentials to my alter ego. The poignant incongruity is that my 'As-Is' state is better off and I may not join any of these institutes. The law of 'Opportunity costs' has immensely aided in convincing my near and dear one.

Passing Days worth a Stopping....

2009-01-03T08:07:00.000-08:00

I think most of us here will allude to the fact that WE are having the best times of our life !!!
For a change, there are not many contentions and the Likert scale will show a reading of greater than 6 (out of 10) for each plot of the 'pair-wise' compatibility. Another impregnable macrocosm out here is that our traits seem to complement each other in the most sublime fashion. We are packed with consideration, humour, sensitivity, belongingness, prudence, aesthetics and benvolence to name a very FEW of the existing vibes.

No wonder, the last week has been phenomenal and i can proudly say that IT ALL STARTED WITH MY BIRTHDAY!!! Life has been very kind since..... I have bandied myself on occassions regarding my stoicism and it has been a unanimous shift to the pole of credence, every single time. Alas! I manage to break the myth for my own salutation. Stoicism may not be one of my eternal strenghts anymore. I will surely feel the pinch whenever one of US parts ways. As they say 'ephemerality propels change....'

On the professional front, not may request coming these days, but, my ruminations on the second PoV have shaped well and they have been appositely validated by the reviewers. The only frustration is pertaining to the release of the first PoV. I think i should be ready to the last detail and only then will it bechance (Isimply adore this word). There is lots more to strategise....its the appraisal discussion which is a necessity for further concordance.

"The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but to reveal to him, his own"

Conundrum Solved

2008-12-25T08:52:00.000-08:00

"Am back with a vengeance !! Of course its super-normal... but i guess this a perennial conundrum for me...."
Someone asked me that how did i manage to motivate myself for all the 5 years in coll and beyond. My answer was the line quoted in italics....and the lady was flabbergasted. She obviously expected some enceinte words of wisdom but i guess the retort caught her unawares. With the retort, went my one and only chance to cast the enchanting spell on her.... something i have meticulously exemplified over the past. The incident initiated a chain of memories in retrospection, i narrowed down to two dictates

The criticism you receive is the variable which determines your exponential growth
Simplicity and not honesty; gives me most satisfaction

The motivation levels and the passion driving individual behaviours change with time and the previous month has enforced a plethora of alterations in my conduct. Most importantly, i have received a convincing answer from Dhawal which makes life easier for me. I now fully comprehend, the fact that I was controversial due to my stand against all odds.

As someone rightly said - " Sanju! you manage to cast an indelible impression, but then people start looking upto you ... they get impressed by your qualities ... but seldom end up liking your individuality" So NEAR... yet so FAR !!!

Immanence versus Transcendence

2008-11-25T00:20:00.000-08:00

Objectivising the subjectivities is one major challenge subsisting in the ecosystem called ‘life’. We have numerous ideas, opinions, sentiments which are marked by perspicuity and vagary. We often talk about injecting value and efficiency within various functions in life. We try and play voguish in our endeavour to project ourselves as the ‘one critical creation’ whose hallmark is prudence and austerity. The ironical part in the last statement is the contradiction showcased by a vogue and an austere.

The world is exhibiting its growing inacceptance towards exaggerated words of promise and wisdom. What is increasingly being sought is ‘quantification of the intangibles’. This makes much more sense considering the fact that we have orbited to a juncture where sheer numbers characterise future projections instead of an intangible roadmap. Strategy is increasingly jelled with execution and there is a callous indifference towards the non-performers. This is what you call ‘brutality’ and the current financial turmoil will instigate a new paradigm where articulations will necessarily need to be coherent with mensuration.

I feel this is the right time for me to inculcate an orientation which will reinforce my positioning in the new world order. Some of the pivotal learning areas will be apposite usage of vocabulary, enhancement of networking skills, amelioration of time management & writing skills and diminution of rigid expectations. Abstractions apart, I need to expedite the Point of View on Value Added Services and contrive a set of incremental strategies so that I give the exam when I am at my peak. It is time to walk the talk.

‘CAPTIAL MARKETS WITHOUT LOSSES IS LIKE CHRISTIANITY WITHOUT HELL’ – Warren Buffet

The CHANGE which seems Elusive

2008-10-05T10:41:00.000-07:00

No matter how much i relent, my back is certainly to the wall. The only good thing here is that things can only move forward from here.... the advance needs to be well thought-out though.

Its been quite some time and i have been vexed by a lot of comments from my coterie. I must confess that it is all in good spirits and senses of the world. However, it is my strong feeling that one's advice or counsel to the other should be more empathy oriented and not on the basis of self potency. Swati has this charming way of coming out of ignominious situations and stay cheerful eternally, but her advice to me to refurbish the excitement and exuberance of the past is simply not palatable at this point of time. Pankaj may have one of the most 'lechatelierite like' aim in life, but he cannot expect me to house similar clarities. Vivek has a wonderfu appetite for risk-taking, but i am incompetent to buy his suggested methodology in order to come out of my present struggle. Ruchika may have a penchant and dominance towards clearing actuarial exams but her counsel and judgement about me not doing enough for CAT is not concilliable.

I do not mean that your words may mean any condescension or disdain.... but my point lies in the fact that i have my own set of strengths and the current challenges are not my cup of tea. I am ready to struggle and rigour my way but not at the cost of my fervor. For instance, give me a topic and seek a presentation or a GD, i will surely not disappoint you... but expecting me to be cheerful or competent or risk-centrical or visionary may be too much of an asking considering the plethora of other qualities that can be sought.

I think the present stage demands stoicism and nonchalance and i may have my task cut out over the next six months.

PS: I know none of you will reply to this, but we can definitely take it up over the call.

The 'END' marks a new 'BEGINNING'

2008-10-01T08:02:00.000-07:00

My dad finally retires and addresses adios to the organisation which consecrated his identity to him..... something which i have used often to veil my 'mistakes'. Its the end of an era for my Dad who symbolised a 'judicious mix of honesty, integrity, discipline and vibrancy' to me. His answer to my question of what he does in office still reverberate in my ears. I was in class 3 then, and he told me that he reads newspapers in office. And i felt ashamed to reveal it to my friends then. Its something which i still cannot reveal in public domain....... reasons may be personal, may also be secretive to an extent.

Never in my past, have i heard my dad criticise the Govt. He opined that contextualizing a system meant to usurp the worriments of a populous nation is no mean task and it called for compromises and alterations at various levels of granularity. No matter how much we criticise the Government of India, emergence and sustenance of a system as behemoth as this is commendable. We have innumerable trepidations regarding the functioning and future of our machinery and we often stretch ourselves in pillorying this structure. The only shining billets for us in this dark lantern of magnanimous proportions are our parents who have reaped the benefits of complying with this system and nurtured us with essential wherewithal.Privatisation has infused best-practices and benchmarks but they do not take anything away from the goverrnment which fructified development when the country belonged to 'God men and Snake charmers'.

No wonder why we get so may request regarding benchmarks and best practices in GRCC.

ALL THE VERY BEST DAD.... I KNOW THE ONUS IS ON SATHYAN AND I TO TAKE IT FORWARD FROM HERE..... WE'LL DO OUR BEST!!!

Dispossessions / Evictions / Confessions

2008-09-10T09:44:00.000-07:00

There has been an evident disconnect between whatever i do and whatever i aspire to accomplish, whatever i utter and whatever i may want to state, whatever i see and whatever i may want to sight, whatever i think and whatever i may want to concieve or percieve. Perhaps the difference lies in magnanimity of the replacement word- say accomplishing for doing, stating for uttering so on and so forth.

No matter what the impressions, finesse in usage and conduct does play a pivotal role in projecting yourself. However, I have started to feel that i may be over-selling myself as an individual. People have started taking note of they activities and started conditioning their cells towards accepting me as a person who may not have any complaints from life whatsoever. Their attitude towards me seems to reflect their inconvenience in accepting myself as one without worriments against them amidst perturbations galore. However, as Dhruv correctly pointed out that 'Its is the moments which you think bring out the man in you, which contribute the least in shaping you', similarly, my attempts to over-sell are not fruits borne out of self-concious efforts but my generic demeanor. I wonder why people feel that we in Bangalore have a cake-walk while they trudge spines. This comparison has resulted in me feigning ignominy in order to glue the unwanted fissures.

On a different scale, I have started to believe that one should be forward-looking as that fills within you a sense of excitement towards the unknown. Past memories must be given their merited piazzas and nothing more for they are more of a learning curve which you should be referring to in your quest towards realising the epitome. So in simple jargon- Value your past only as an indicator but value your future as a craved possession.

The experiment today has Anto on his heels until he read that the World continues to be SAFE !!! And i have started to appreciate vertiable flow of thoughts and structuring as i write my Point of View on the Telecom Industry.

"Immense Value Add" as Dhawal would put it..... in order to impress his supervisor

'Life is a melodrama, try interspersing it with intimacy and benevolence'

Thank You...!!!

2008-09-01T09:51:00.000-07:00

I always feel i have been the most ungrateful wretch on earth. Life has been very kind to me, yet i have managed to obliviate the benevolent memories and persisted with the malevolent ones.
Sometimes this is what can be termed as 'pons - asinorum' (I guess Johney is gonna blast me for using this word too often... but somehow i seem to attach this to myself on various counts)

The Freud test revealed Family, Love-life, Friends, Knowledge and Money in the decreasing order of my priorities.

So let me thank Monu C. Varghese, Dione Kurian, Shincy Elsa Philip, Puneet Kamboj, Guarav Negi, Bharat Panwar, Chetali Kapoor, Shriram Mani,Rachita Mohan, Pankaj Pandey, Gaurav Kumar, Viplav Sinha, Rahul, Chetan Thakur, Vivek Sharma, Rocky Rajput, Joydeep Biswas, Rajagopal, Ritesh Garg, Vignesh, Varun Arora, Ajo Abraham, Ruchi Singh, Shilpi Bharadwaj, Nishant Upadhyay and Swati Sharma.

Some of my DCE mnates namely Nigar Khan, Svetlana Dimitrov, Sachin Pant, Gaurav Chabbaria, Neha Garg, Vikram Sisodia and Maria Suzanne.

Over to the affable IIITM - Ashutosh Uniyal, Marut Chaudhary, N. Johney, Nikhil Jha, Sanjay Saini, Manish Chauhan, Alok Kumar, Jayant Singh, Akshay Anand, Dhruv Joshi, Shishir Chandrol, Ankur Khandelwal, Chinna Reddy, Yatendra Singhal, Ravi Garg, Santosh Kumar Singh, Aditya Singh Kushwah, Ankit Verma, Ayush Bhatt, Steven Mudda, Naveen Aksolia, Amrapali Sukhdeve, Sandeep, Manjari Sheela, Ranjeet Arya and Ruchika Gupta.

And now to the Bangalore gang- Dhawal (the decision maker), Anubha Gumastha, Suman Kansotiya, Annie Shen, Mirra and expanding.... (of course Marut, Joshi and Paaji are not discounted)

Well thanks for reading this piece of junk... i was wondering as to why friends feature third in my list of priorities within the Freudian test. I also managed to recollect most of the surnames. Please pardon me if i discounted your name in the flow.... it has been a free flowing thanks giving blog.

I would like to meet all of You atleast once more in future !!!! Adios

The NEXT generation Model

2008-08-16T09:14:00.000-07:00

"The price we pay for advance in civilisation is loss of happiness"- wrote Sigmund Freud. Of course he wrote many more interesting things regarding promiscuous topics, but this statement reinforces his high-handedness.
Does this mean pleasure and progress don't go together??? It seems absurd considering that we've all reaped the benefits of technology which has generally upped the quality of our lives. A wheel made things easier, agriculture alienated foraging, antibiotics alleviated suffering, electronics has revolutionised the communication industry. So, how can such palpable gains result in loss of happiness???

Actually, Freud talks about a totally different kind of happiness which is often miscontrued the same way as his other pennings are. This unhappiness is a by-product of technological and societal advancement which results in unreasonable and often nefarious demands which is unmatched by the supply. Hence, the discontent and consequently the evident unhappiness in the lives of people all around.

What has happened from the time Freud made his observation is that happiness is also considered as an 'offer', though it is an ephemeral one. This perception has resulted in a subtle shift in people's attitude according to which happiness ultimately boils down to an Insignia, an iPhone, a charming girlfriend, a date with Katrina Kaif or a Botox treatement. Unfortunately, Buddha had realised and propogated years ago that the next model is always out of stock in the present. Hence, one's happiness on the basis of his possession or prowess is bound to be overwhelmed in future. Thus, perennial unavailability leads to disenchantment which breeds discontenment and as they say- Only DESIRE remains.... I cannot fathom an unhappier situation.

Aamir Khan casts a spell with this latest Samsung brand flick - Next is What??? I think i may answer this ubiqutous question. NEXT is infact HAPPINESS. It just needs a subtle introspection and identification of priorities.
Service to parents may top the list of priorities. You might start realising the difference in contentment level between owning an Audi and washing dishes/clothes as a gesture of help for your 'Mom'.

Leaders - Dormant or Extinct ????

2008-08-10T06:42:00.000-07:00

For me there are only two LEADERS : People who have led their organisation on the basis of their overarching vision or have directed the whole Indian simulacrum with their staunch effectuation.

Azim Premji and Mahatma Gandhi delineate these definitions of leaders who have redefined evolution and led by example. Leadership is one dicey quality which is not everyone's cup of tea but those who exhibit leadership skills are primarily those who reflect utmost clarity in their goals and objectives. Our country, unfortunately, cannot boast of leaders who have the ability to alter the prevalent dictates. Leadership is percieved to be overtly linked to the short-term dynamic linkages and this explains ten captains in any cricket team within our country. Morover, obeyance is probably miscontrued with servility and THIS spells doomsday to any voluntary team strucutre. Hence, when the mass attaches zilch importance to leaders appending the denigrating power equations riding various organisation/national strucutres, LEADERS are individuals who have, as i said earlier redefined 'evolution' of thought and generated 'value' for the whole/part of the nation.

Now that i get to see Mr. Premji at close quarters at Sarjapur HO, I yearn for an opportunity to have a quick chat with him some time. Maybe a few blanket statement subversive of his stance on the various loopholes along with some customised advicing would be icing on the cake. According to me, he falls under the Visionary category for having foreseen the business value of IT during times it was unheard of. The diversification in Wipro's business with IT being a major driver typifies the evolution to a vegetable oil company to an diversified major. Now that he has stressed on the importance of consulting in the coming years, I feel that i may be in the right place just at the right time (I digressed from a general thought process to a personalised conviction, of course all MEN are selfish !!!!).

I think the words in the brackets indicate my fickle mindset which does not remain focussed for a decent interval. Morover the comment about all men being selfish is totally out of context but i decided to go ahead with writing it as it would appeal to the few enshrouded readers of the pink fraternity (There must be an element for everybody in this piece).

Moving on and coming back to square one, i would end putting down words of extolment for Bapu as it is the fruits of his efforts, that we are relishing today (especially me in this wonderful Bangalore where everything seems to be in abundance EXCEPT sunlight). The father of the nation is certainly one who showcased unassailable leadership to drive the whole nation with simple yet effective dictates. He is the Leader of the Masses according to me, I cannot think of anybody else though.

How about me as a leader.....???? I need to figure out my brand positioning before i give any further thought in this regard. Kudos

Everything seems settled except that i feel like writing pale english

2008-07-25T10:43:00.000-07:00

I know squarely that nobody reads my blogs... its transforming towards being a personal diary. The country needs to sustain its vigour and confidence at this moment and instill faith in the propinquty of the entire spectrum. Dark Knight is a phenomenal potrayal of the abstractions governing a mob psychology and the effective gadgets. Batman and Joker seems to the most realistic depiction of those non-supernatural combats.

How can i resist you?? How can i insist you?? How can i assist you???

Blogs and Widgets

2008-07-25T10:30:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you try and attach a purpose and meaning to everything you do........ but there are occasions where you try and enact an entirely non-value add. However, deep within your innate self, you wish that these actions bear the most unexpected and encouraging fruits for yourself.

I am pretty confused person these days. One who is clear only about his professional work and caught in a quagmire when it comes to everything else. Definitely fate has its own ways of squaring things up..... but the way i'm being carried on two foot is something i am unanswerable towards. Be it CAT, Economic times, household responsibilities or any other event which i experience outside the Sarjapur Campus, everything seems to reflect the divine backing. This is because i find things happening at their own behest without my sincere efforts which i percieve are pivotal. Perhaps, i may be enjoying the stage in my life when everything is spoon-fed by the supernatural.
I may not be able to emulate two totalitasian personalities but i guess there is lot to be learnt in terms an eye for detail, the rightful brashness, the eye for analysis, the overwhelming assertiveness, the sense of humour, the indecisive aura. It is my strong feeling that a man evolves with his work and the access to various databases personify the beginning of an analytical evolution.

I have another weekend at my disposal to take memories which will help me the stabilise during the marooned moments next week. Its high time i start envisoning a long-term objective for myself. There are too many short-term goals which seems to play on each other's shoulders without really making it to the brain.

Love is in the air....... infact, it is only in the air and NONE inside -- Unknown
If i get three hours to cut a tree i will spend two hours sharpening my axe -- Abraham Lincoln
Uplifting yourself is sucess but uplifting others is significanct success.

Reviving .... Rejuvenating....MY Pristine Self !!!

2008-07-16T05:04:00.000-07:00

Sometimes words are hard to find... especially when brevity, clarity are the dictates and wordiness, pomposity and cliches are not permitted. I think such a strictured environment brings the most able writer out an individual. Something which would show a FOG Index of 12-13, but would convey the intention in the best possible explanantion needing no annotations. I must say that a being a writer is one of the toughest accomplishments of life. It is something which if further enunciate when a person like Vasudev Murthy brands himself as a 'failed writer'.

The Global Research Center for Consulting (GRCC) has been framed and now forumulations regarding its Process Framework are on its way. The standardisation achieved with respect to the documents is simply amazing. Imagine a 'signature' ,which is of the most personal and innate nature, being standardised. Actually the stay over here makes me appreciate the higher thoughts or abstraction namely business value, business diagnosis, strategy and standardisation.

'Consulting' as a career sound appealing and in order to inculcate the expected qualities of an conman who constantly insults (con-sultant), i cannot help feeling that i may have made the best START. The levels of interaction I have had so farand the extent of confidence demonstrated on me as an Consultant have been phenomenal.

The only bone of contention is MBA>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I feel i should go to a Consulting BSchool rather than a general BSchool.

Happy Birthday Dude... Have a blast !!!!

2007-12-21T09:44:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday dude.... Have a blast.
Probably the sole one liner which i trance forward as birthday wishes to one and all. So, the locution needs to common to both thy neighbour and thyselves.

Probably this approaching birthday made me wonder,why and how on earth does this day create so much excitement among the recipients???? a trait commonly or infact outrightly, observed in all of the anthropological genres (girls majorly) i have befriended. Is this really the day when you seat yourselves at the throne of felicity and expect others to pamper you, shower yourself with goodies and wishes alike??? Is this day deservant of the pompousness and grandiloquence which you ascribe it to???? Is this the only justified occasion to corroborate that you are indeed one special creation????

I must admit that i have been no exception to these flavouring when i was young. The start of December used to elevate me to the pinnacle of a virtual Happy Mountain which then chute with exponential speed as soon as the day was over. Being the shortest day of the year (22nd December) made only matters worse for me. I reminisce with acute nostalgia the days when my friends in colony used to come over during the party, and i stationed myself at the entrance of my house allowing only those with a gift. And then as i evolved/matured, (a polite way of saying that i degraded) i used to treat my friends in school in a disc/pub where everyone lost his senses as we only went to Oxygen or Delhi Devils (liquor free). (I am still deprived of the wonderful blessing on manking as concieved by smokers and alcoholics). However, contentment and propitiation are two distant attributes which i have always aimed to accomplish, but, they always seemed a further mile away with every passing birthday.

Last year, i had the blessed opportunity to spend my first birthday at college. I call the opportunity blessed not because i had my coterie around, but because i could use the day towards some authentically genuine service, which i guess, everyone is expected to undertake on days which are special to him. Its been quite a few years since i have been donation flour to the blind school near my house during the birthdays of people special in my life. However, last year after my major examination, i sped to Madhav orphange in Gwalior where i distributed apples and oranges to the kids. It was then that the feeling of contentment ebbed to the brim. Those smiles, those verbalisms, those countenance and those gratitudes enlightened me beyond expressions, beyond descriptions. Since i had a party planned back in coll, i had rush back and i was very repentant that i was compromising the real celebration for a societal celebration which neither redeems nor restores any unfeigned archetypes.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I must realise that this year is a benchmark, one which marks a transition from an average college kid to an untested corporate resource. I have some very important goals for the future and i must pledge to pursue them with all sincerity and dedication. I must pay due cognisance to the fact that there will be distractions galore, both warranted and unwarranted. However, i must pervade through them with undeterred motivation. Also i must do away with the rashness which has been my perennial doom speller in the past. Just another moment of silence will help me silence the sceptical negativism.

Cheers to yet another completion of a successful year. May you march with austerity towards being a subservient force for your parents and an assertive force for the posterity.

Turbulating Conundrum

2007-12-02T22:04:00.000-08:00

Am in a majestic fix of vibrant sorts....

Committed the worst blunder of my life on Nov 18, but what set ME apart was that I was actually able to pull myself out of the gloom very early, to my surprise. Many would disagree, but the preparation certainly instilled within me an ATTITUDE. The one that i always lacked. I always seemed to cog my mind with those nebulous thoughts of negativities. I must admit that i am very lucky to be actually what i have positioned myself at Present, as. I have strong reservations about my Intelligent and emotional quotients. Though, trough of failure have been cyclical, they have been ephemeral . But i always seemed to brood over those, disturb myself to the heck and always felt like running towards oblivion. What set me apart this time around and hopefully would , in future, is the pace at which i pulled out myself from the web- the ever inciting web of gloom, misfortune, insecurity and forged thoughts.

The insouciance is nothing but serendipity but I enjoyed it to the hilt. It added a certain flavour to my outlook of looking at Nature for a second and forgetting/forgiving ALL. Though i must confess that the traits of a human do not allow me to sustain my nonchalance for long, and the peers (both internal and external) play their derogatory roles, I have begun to realise that the key to calmness and success lies in speedy extrication from the excoriating events.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What if?????????????

You are a part of a menage where every alternate generations have mute and dumb childeren. Constrasting this misfortune is perhaps the fact that the girls in the lineage are excessively gorgeous, but alas no one prefers to marry them as the children born to them are definintive to be dumb and mute, or atleast.... have been so... for many generations.
A dumb and mute grandma/ grandpa, hale and hearty (not sure!!!) mom and dad, and once again the dumb and mute children. The conversation in their house was through various signals made using the face and the hands.

If you saw that for once, would you ever dare to bother others with your thrawting frustrations.
Not much to be written but certainly more to the mind.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Selfless service to primarily one's parents and then the society are the key dictates towards sure shot happiness. However, the word "selfless" is the pons asinorum when it comes to an ambitioius mix of pride, arrogance and materialism like me. However, i just sincerely hope that I am able to support my parents without getting into this unwanted race of unending material conquest. Am happy with th realisation, but sustaining and reminding myself of the sole reason of my toils would be my test.

Wish i were able to share with you .... all my propitious incidents and turbulations alike.
But somewhere down the aisle... get tired of the hypocricies i dislike.

I lift myself all over again.... striving to rejuvenate myself to my pristing self.

Resuscitating Clairvoyance

2007-09-16T08:45:00.000-07:00

Life has been a ‘penance’ …. Of late..!!!!!!
Strict adherence to timings with occasional discrepancies has been the hallmark of the past fortnight. Also the four point programme – something similar to the common minimum programme of the UPA, the only difference being the accentuation of the walk rather than the talk. But, somehow the one doing with @#%$ seems elusive. I feel that if I improve upon this aspect, it will be nothing but a cakewalk on frictionless lanceolate promontory.

Got the taste of my first ninety around percentiles and 200 odd ranks, in the past week. In no way do I feel confident or assured of similar performances in the future, though it is only improving. I have always believed that one needs to peak at the right opportune time, the propitious time when nothing can stall your ascent. Also the fact that the peak is best when closest to the end rather than a period interspersing the final days and initial hours. Overconfidence is something which comes to me naturally even if I achieve the smallest of achievements. But this time I am pretty conscious and cognizant of my approach towards the goal. There is only a diaphanous veneer which bifurcates the egotism with pragmatism.

Praying for all that my Mom wanted me to… Strange that I give in my spiritual quotient on the blog world. Actually it keeps me posted of my authentic prayers and the ones inciting greed, impatience etc etc.

“The way she makes me feel………………..
She is both my sTreNgtH and Achilles heel”

Great news !!! Mummy, Daddy, Sathyan........etc etc

2007-08-15T07:31:00.000-07:00

Finally got placed… One seems to wait with an indefinite impatience for this day of one’s life @ college \ institute. I have this surge of conviction flowing through my stratums all over again. Contrary to this, the feeling sank in no time, the result did come sweet but it was not without its share of blemishes. I just could not get a hang of how things were cropping in the period interspersing my first round and HR interview. I did get the HR thinking though !!!!! All the drums of African safari about ethics being an imperative part of their core value proposition seemed to fall like nine pins when she replied to my skepticism.

However, all said and done, I was very happy to find my relatives relishing the news of the still very plump and young Sanjeev (in their memories) casting his first step as a neophyte into the world of corporatism. The second thing which put me off was the ITC imbroglio and I felt that I needed to undertake a seminal effort in helping my mates getting placed. Satyam did make things easier to an extent, but still, with some guys remaining, celebration continues to deceive.

Now, I should start preparing myself for the artistic test of giving the mocks as it is not only subject expertise which counts. Not much to write for now, but definitely sullen times and gloomy disguises need to put to the shore, and lots of learning , pondering and strategizing needs to be done.

Cheers………………

BeToKeNeD__bILLetS

2007-07-19T10:31:00.001-07:00

Long time… No see…..

Just to explicate in brief….
I have been undergoing my summer Internship at Pre-Sales Team, Documentum, ECM 1 Practice, Satyam Computer Services Limited, Chennai.

I have been very conspicuous of my absence in office. I am kind of welcomed with sardonic smiles every single time I move over to my seat besides Harsh sir and Vipul sir. The Pre Sales team is the only riddance when it comes to an invigorating work place. The remnants within the campus have that lackluster guise which can get onto one’s patience. However, in whatever minimal time I swank spent in office, it has been a mixed breed of tenacious works and buoyant breaks. However, I think I have assimilated enough to impose a swank bio-data. The training in Documentum and the Proof of Concept aligning the needs of the Publishing Domain with the Marklogic Content Server seem to be the only value addition. The analysis and design of the Reusable Templates have been derisory. Nonetheless, they find a place in my CV as I believe that I can mildew or mask the unadulterated work to an appreciable level of granularity.
Its only final presentation that beckons and I find myself folding the pages of my internship.

A few days later……………..

However, these three months have been more of a period of austerity. I have been closely observing the key tenets of professional life. In the end after feeling my completion certificate, I retort with all the abuses I know….. all the Hindi ones (been long since I used one), all the Tamil ones and the English ones came flowing too…. Following suit

Am not being complacent, but it is an innate disposition NOW, that I stand a good chance to perform but then, what about the perforce scratch your back strategists??? Darwin should try and reassess his theory. In the world of IT, it’s the one who is the best when it comes to scratching, who survives, certainly not the FiTtesT.

Now describing the parallel world of coquettes…..

Saw her only to believe that ……… at first sight is a certainty. I have been associated with all types of gimcracks, but its ironical how the shock of my life came in this desert city of Chennai (don’t see pink much… except on Hutch billboards). No !!!!!! I am sure it’s not a mirage.

Still have that air on sanctity surrounding me and will bookmark that moment as one of the few sacrosanct ones. Fingers tremble as I type these words as I am well aware that there may never be such a moment in my life, ever again.

“How can I resist you when I feel SO close to my heart”

Anyways, I come back to my world of stark veracity. Have never been so weak to give myself away and that too on a public domain, but ALAS….I Have not been able to rant for long. Next in the cavalcade is the TCS enigma and finally the mother of all… the common aptitude test. Don’t want to give away this time around as I have always done in entrance examinations in the past. But the failures of the past do continue to haunt me.
As for the internship is concerned, I feel my decision to quit Fuhzen and stay back in the country has been one of my best EveR. Today I feel I am more richer, than what I could have been had I accepted that $1600 covenant.

Even if I am to map it with the tangibility of dollars, a 1000$ training in Documentum, all for free, courtesy Satyam has been the announcement. Add to this, the priceless stay @ HOME with mom and Anirudh is luxury personified. The visit we paid to the numerous relatives during the past two months have supercharged my social habituation. Today I palpate myself only to find myself devoid of the various negativities which one inculcates when, away from home.

Karnataka, AP, Kerala, Sri Lanka, Cambodia have all been great…!!!
I am feeling the cutaneous senses ….. surpassing even the price-less moments which Master Card propagates.

God Bless One and All (Conclusions voiced by my rejuvenated spiritual quotient.)

What cannot be cured must be endured

2006-10-27T00:14:00.000-07:00

Find myself afflicted on several counts...... its always that i write these grieving verses.... the grappling health problems have been toxic to say the least.
Delhi is battling with dengue, chickungunya and several viruses which haven't been nomenclatured yet, and when i got sick at home, i was made to shudder several ounces of blood, and all the test were negative, thankfully. Then what is the 'pons asinorum '????? I used a really heavy word there...... the meaning makes an interesting reading and comprehension..... sounds Latin to me if the origin is concerned.

Coming back, its a disconsolate remark that the college here had has reached its plateau and on its way towards the downward decline..... if the Gartner Hype Cycles are consulted for an effective judgement on the same !!!!
There is this girl who drives me crazy every now and then, all my earnest efforts in vain---- and i find myself penning down something which has been way too personal for the past seven years, perhaps thats the magnitude of affliciton and hence the visible dereliction.
And my poise and nonchalance have been tested of late..... the doc has made me wary of several aspects, I sense a repercussion very soon!!! Whatever???
I derive solace form the line "What cannot be cured must be endured" - the propagandas, diatribes (learnt this word in CL), the insinuations, the maskings and the coyness. I fail to define my role at this juncture in college, something which i had been very confident about in the past. Its this indecision which leaves me in obstinate conundrum and i am taking time off, time off from every surrounding event...... giving myself the relevant required time.
The pit falls have been experienced very early, some have been self-dug..... but i plan to pipeline my renewed vigour over these cognitives.

Enjoying a wretched MBA out here---- and how can one keep himself perenially motivated??? and that too for a period of five years.....
Happy Belated Diwali to one and all !!!!!

Whats the point ????

2006-09-06T14:53:00.000-07:00

What the fu***ng point???? I seem to enquire myself on every deed of mine.

A lot seems to have transgressed in the past….. but the walk down the power corridor has finally reaped….. though for a very small stretch, I finally brand myself as one who has been through the thick and thin of the most toxic situation ever in my life.

I sought support sometimes, sometimes I sought isolation--- but I seemed to acquire none. Indeed life had tested me with a very serious hair pin bend, whats more the spirituality quotient seemed to quiver and I was left with mammoth frustrations and bare minimum incisions. What I carry outside the bend is immunity towards snares.

The minors have lost their relevance in my dictionary. My admiration list seems to have a surprise entry in DP, never expected this guy to rise….. his intricate disposition is still a reservation for me… but the way he has networked himself is commendable. I pity the ones who reveal their jealousy in blasphemous ways. One should try and renovate one’s own USP rather than tampering others……. That’s where people seem to lag behind in the race.

Career Laucher has given me direction towards an elusive target, hope to continue and make the best out of the deal. The nitty-gritty’s have been given the first gear which I seem to cross right at the onset these days. The ego, the anger, the sloth, the lust, the jealousy, the greed, the ……. naaaaaaaaaaaahhHHHH !!!!

Its high time I exert myself and retrieve the hidden challenges in my management domain, these two years seem to be crucial and I do not want to repent two years down the line. i need to realise that there is nothing left to prove any more, there is lots left to achieve and only achieve....... i do not need to act in order to cast an impression, incite an admiration or articulate an appreciation, its high time i start working towards being at the other side of my contemplations.
The nascent years of an emerging powerhouse have seemed to commence

chao and cheers to renewed vigour.

The power of SILENCE.....

2006-07-30T03:53:00.000-07:00

Silence is golden, perhaps much more than that……

The only problem I have in being silent is that I haven’t been bestowed with an intricate disposition towards being silent. But in the recent past, I tend to ‘brood’ with a sullen guise, the ‘guise’ which sometimes makes me seem synonymous to Hitler brooding over the Alps and hence the usage.

My room serves as the lounge for my ruminations, high up in the third floor overlooking the scenic table mountains of Gwalior, the day is not far when I’ll brood standing over the mountain and the intensity then is going to be much more passionate.
Silence propels towards a second opening, the one which has the element of the wittiness, the drollness, the maturity which is so seriously sought in this world of scratch-your-back strategists. What is essentially required along is patience, which casts of unwanted stimulations and fidgety. The expectation contest has gone overboard now, even the strongest of conveyances could not suffice, the best possible way out of it is ‘silence’ over everything, every time, everywhere.

Not much days left towards the end of my walk (down the power corridor), it really shook up the debauched, and will shake many more to come. Life is all about setting targets and I seem to be moving ahead in this regard with oozing confidence. The spirituality quotient is in doldrums for the first time in the last two years, never had a break this long although it’s only a few days if recounted on paper. The intimates who seem to typecast my gloom need to be cajoled, but I am just not in the right rhythm in this regard, am waiting for my walk to produce the real ‘fruit’.

READ Icon by Fredrick Forsyth, another tussle between the CIA and the KGB, how the author managed to potray KGB in such poor light remains a quandary only which he can throw light upon. But all in all, a wonderful novel about how a Russian leader shielded his fascist beliefs behind his liberal worlds of glory of the motherland and renunciation of unwanted power. And the systematic and logical training methodology of the british intelligence received its fair share of admiration. Got a good insight about the intricacies involved in crucial intelligence operations. Really fear going to Moscow now…. !!!!!

The Raid at Entebbe and Munich exemplifying the Israeli courage forced me to contrast them with Jaswant Singh’s “Call of honour”.

To be or not to be……………….. chao

Hona hain tujhme ... FANNA........

2006-07-17T11:44:00.000-07:00

Hmm… it’s a superlative fight within, I must say I cannot cater to the qualms of all but certainly my closet deserves a better treatment, however, how does one justify the ever competitive, ever grudge inducing, ever propelling perceptions????

Brand me as an ambassador one day, as a pauper the next…. !!!!!
Whatever you do, I’ll be by your side, you wish otherwise …. Lest.

The world seems to ask me about my walk through the power corridor, this inquisitive seems disturbing to me at times … !!! Won’t like to give myself away on any pretext, though its compelling within. But definitely, the more you try to stay surreptitious, the more drawn out becomes your identity.
Some presumptuous movement is definitely there, but again the whopping obstacle stays affirm, I’ve to act out of my wits, cannot let the canard carry on , can I???

PL and MnS assignments seem to hog the notoriety for me these days, do not want to internal motivation and wish to adhere to the deadlines….. WISH !!!! its nostalgic to resurface contact with my old conjoins--- Charu, Juhi, Rachita, Robin, Bharat, Gaurav, Chetali, Pankaj …………. I miss those utterances which had the blend of maturity and vivaciousness to them. Those interactions have really taken me this far avoiding the recalcitrant state of affairs (which could have been surreal addition to my woes).

Waiting for the day when I can pen down my arrogance without any blemish.
chao

Envy vs Jealousy

2006-07-11T10:51:00.000-07:00

Its been quite some time since I find myself mellowed down … with varying magnitudes at an assortment of junctures, the rationale being my quest to understand the intricacies of the human edge.
The various pedigrees seem to justify their recital and strokes, they play their roles in the skirmish with varying impetus. The cause for unision seems to be more out of jealousy than envy…. since jealousy will propel u to try and scratch the other’s back rather than straightening yours. Envy seems to arouse a healthy competition which fabricates one’s paramount features.

My walk through the power corridoor seems to make me arrogant to the core …(nice rhyme) , I must confess to it even though I have no rhyme or reason…. no capability either, but it’s a stimulating dispute within. Things seem to ease out exponentially when I have a retort to offer to my beloved anonymous, and that too a brute one… and there is no respite in this regard. I am Really thankful to the man who has instilled so many qualities within me ….. had I been party to these kind of pressure tactics right from infancy, it would have been a different ball game by now.

Pretty sad that Shrivastava sir is being made to leave this institute in such circumstances, wish everything falls back in place for him …. as he wished for !!!! I consider it an honour that he remembered me and dispensed those words for me….. they stand to encourage me for a long time from now.
But these bastards are hell bent on screwing up this place, have witnessed some unforgettable episodes of late… they have been very toxic!!!!
I have learnt to swim against the tide though not with proficiency, but this marks a new beginning within me, a benign one. And I have started admiring people around for the wealth of genius they seem to conceal within their skin, and in the same monotonous tone have I started to despise the fictitious glances which never appear to flee my vision.

And i could sense your affection when i ate the mangoes........... mummy !!!

Passing days

2006-06-15T23:53:00.000-07:00

"Family is more important than the state"------
"The one who is most envied is the one who has no envy"-----

Quite contrasting statements, but have a profound impact on me these days...... Manish told me about Ain Rand's Fountainhead... i have to read this novel someday..... its as if some kind of an insufflate has been subjected over me.
Well, an act of insolence was rectified by me ..... and finally the far-fetching finance was kicked out of the stadium by me and my mate...........
n WORLD CUP 2006.... WOW!!!!!! i'll brand myself as an ardent fan of Czech Republic.....
Milan Baros and Jan Koller take the startup..... the towering Koller supporting Baros and a deadly combo in the offing.Stupendous play makers in the form of Nedved, Poborsky and Rosicky(his double strike will arouse a sense of excitement within each Liverpool fan.... But they might be praying that he unwinds his magic not against England). The defence is certainly a thing to ponder about.... but its not all that contrite either.

The BTech project seems to treading the right path.... its now time for implementation of the algos on any sector.... and coming out with a business decision will be the real test. Am in a fix wether the health sector or retail sector will be the better proposition. The papers on telecommunication seems to have had an auspicious beginning .... lets check out ..... what Dhruv does with insurance.
Am excited about meeting Anirudh (my nephew) when he comes over to delhi in a short while.... a snobbish boy barely 4 months old.... but already smiling and crying in pipelines....GOD bless you Ani

The Reservation Conundrum

2006-06-04T22:36:00.000-07:00

The nation seems to be at its fore when it comes to disapproving the current bill passes by the honourable Parliament of Inida----- the one stating a 27 per cent reservations for the OBC’s in the elite institutions of India(totaling to 49.5 %). Yesterday’s Express stated that many other autonomous and private institutions are also in the net…….. the HRD minister asserting punitive action against the rebels…. not the masses but the administration of the institutions……..
Hence 'this' is being asserted on the institutions and the country….. what an impediment to the vision of Rev. President’s vision of India -2020-------- or REALLY??????

Am forlorn in certain aspects though…….. I’d state that the cabinet ministers are supported by a stream of bright IAS’ and other civil servants…… hence the collective decision and the associated adamancy must have a relevant and strong backing. Its very tranquil on our part to criticize the politicians and their vision….. branding them as fools, corrupt, unethical etc etc….. spare a thought to the development the country is facing under them.

Let me take to some concrete words now, to be admitted to an M.B.A. program, students have to go through a selection process, which includes entrance/admission tests, a group discussion and an interview if the candidate is successful in the written test. The aim of the test is to evaluate, under stress, a candidate's general verbal, mathematical and analytical abilities. Passing the management entrance test in India will require a superior command of the English language, quantities skills and a sharp mind.

NOW read this…… how on earth are you going to visualize the bright students of the nation hailing from less privileged societies and less known colleges/universities — Uttar Pradesh (U.P.), Bihar, Uttaranchal, Rajsthan, Jharkhand and Madhya Pradesh (M.P.) (Data Source : Business World… don’t hold my neck if your state figures out in this !!).

The reservation might give them a chance to compete among their parallels…. Right??? English should not be a bottleneck to success….. and why am I saying this?????
Electricity, health, education, transport, urban planning and rural development sectors are mostly mismanaged and this in need of qualified managers….. will an IIM grad opt for this when he has scores of multinationals pusuing him with exponential pay packages. The ostensible talent of our country will be a boon to a foreign enterprise…. but very rarely the public sector of the country……

Imagine a person with the language-brigde but an astute brain, won’t the above mentioned deficient sectors offer him the best opportunities???? Imagine the development he can initiate since he will be well versed with the ethnocentric aspects arising out of a rural background.

These reservation candidates have limitations in their abilities…(sorry if I am insolent !!) but this imperfection augurs perfectly well for the country … and believe me it will a positive step towards INDIA SHINING…. Not the individual shining--- We all owe something to our country…. Don’t we.

P.S.-: Now Now!!!! Arjun singh did not pay me any money to write this…. Nor will I go into the public sector if I were an IIM grad…… but I sincerely believe the govt might have a long term plan for India… a genuine one for me……. Wooing the vote banks remains the prime reason though….. am well aware of those bloody bas*****s.

The GLAD lad

2006-06-03T03:48:00.000-07:00

It was Mother's day and i gifted my mom a Nokia 1100 ... it only costs 2200 bucks....... It was Father's day and i presented to my dad the beautiful red checked tie with radiating cuff-links(have i spelt it right).
Its a miniscule compared to what the future beckons in this regards but...... the reason i am thrilled is because these acts mark the initiation.... a surreal one... no doubt. Morover, these were my achievements and i am honoured to share them with my parents.
The tie and the cuff links were a part vast range of men's accessories i won during the Mr. Aurora contest. It would a contentious feeling if i get to see a photograph of my dad sporting them in one of his official tours.
I managed 1600 bucks out of Infotsav'06, bad luck with Avalon and Brouhaha .... but i could have surely done well with Avalon..... Brouhaha was to the best of my efforts. So i was only a partial sponsor, my big bro took care of the rest..... however, its the feeling which matter... right !!!!

Quarter-life Crisis

2006-05-18T03:12:00.000-07:00

Maybe we all r going through this "Being Twenty-Something".
They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as "confused" as you, often musing the same things about you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone, scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out....... its upto to you.... derive roses out of thorn beds or make rose petals seem synonymous to thorns... chao...

Lonely Extrovert

2006-05-05T03:13:00.000-07:00

Can extroverts ever find themselves lonely, morose, trampled and recalcitrant.????????
Well personally non-affirmative .... going by the jargons but then, its these unicorns of parallelisms which petrify me towards an affirmation..... probably got way above ur heads..... usually all my intricate thoughts do the same.

Here I am in abv-iiitm campus still undecided when to go home, still undecided over various issues and the trail of indecision does not seem to leave me because the issues in which i'm decided are not being accepted or appreciated by the indecisive entities....... probably another aircraft of a thought.

Am progressing towards a disparate search of a passion which will help me sustain my existence, if not now, then atleast some years hence. A passion which will bring a zero slope to my graph rather than initiating the negative slope which we all contemplate some time in future.
On the academic front, i could finally rope in a topic of my interest in BTP and am overwhelmed at the support of Prof. Rakesh Shrivastava in this endeavour of mine.
Coming back !! What i fear the most is the "propaganda" of several individuals, the unstinted anger of several " minds", the overflowing distances and many more intangible connivances.
Am tired, weak, crippled and seemingly incompetent in tolerating my grievances...... its a disparate search of the "brave" and the "determined" and the "meticulous" which many of my mates have branded me as ..... in the past.
Will be off to delhi soon,,,,, probably need to do some soul- searching, Maslow would give me a tight slap if i claim to reach the last slab in his pyramid-- self actualization.
Still huge strides to be taken..... but for that you need to be a physical existence which i cease to be at times........ only at times mind you !!!!! This chain of venting out your woes and collecting them needs to be broken ....... somehow or the other.////

Network Management Security on strike

2006-04-30T09:04:00.001-07:00

30 April 2006
There are somethings in life which you remember only in times of crisis or grievances..... this blog world is one of them.... How priorities change with time...... excruciating!!!! I have my Network Management Security major examination tommorow... a five credit subject and here i am typing these words not really sure wether i 'll be able to sustain the two hours of examination tommorow.
This weakness is getting on to me and i know i have a mental heat stroke as well whereby all my neurons have gone on strike (as a part of an legitimate entity "union") which propels me to cast away my patience, my compassion, my tolerance.

ya ... !! i should not tolerate injustice no matter what, and moreso if it has been lingered on. I have been petrified deep within ..... in the past few days some decisions i have taken personify my ignominies.
"Wounds do heal, but the scars remain" which repetitively remind you of your wounds. But in this glorious world, people manage to wipe off their scars....... thanks to anti-stretch mark creams.

I cannot even blink my eyes.... even that is straining like hell... wish i could issue a direct SOS call to almighty. wishing myself the best with tommorow's 5 credit major... i know nothing in it.

goodnight

Not Qualified.......

2006-03-15T07:36:00.000-08:00

Well... this is sick... !!! I lost my admit card for GATE 2006, and today i don't know my roll number to see my result. Uniyal tells me that what seperates my roll and his is a difference of twenty. Now i've tried all combinations of four from his number both ahead and behind.... the saga (which longed only two hours and that too in the examination hall) seems to have reaped nothing but despair..... NOT QUALIFIED !!! is what I think i am...... and so i conveyed that to my parents.
308 Kms seemed to make no difference..... i could gather their dissapointment- I offered no excues.... that i am doing MBA or my preparation was without an initiation!!!!
I just hope that i take this a spring of motivation.......... come back to the ground.... and start another earnest endeavour quintessentially aimed at authentic knowledge strides. Pray that NOTHING else disrupts me further...... of course there'll be not one, but, too many.... May i not get perturbed by them

Aurora- the journey behind the scenes.... from Dawn to Dusk

2006-03-14T10:39:00.000-08:00

The thought process started when Vineet sir congratulated me in the most fanatical methods I could ever imagine, its understood that it came from someone who was associated with Aurora during his days in college. Many others followed Palash Sen, Pawan sir , Gagan sir, Saurabh sir….. n many more.
The twinkle in the eyes of Robby sir, Nitin sir, Ankit, Ayush seemed more like a flare to me……… indeed they were happy and contentious. Well !! for me, those split seconds, those expressions, those statements, those jiffies MADE IT UP FOR EVERYTHING …………perhaps.
Not for once but for a ton times, would I have felt disheartened, loomy and disgusted, not really understanding that why am I doing so much for a cultural fest after all. Words of my batchmate – “ Itna sab nachne gaane ke liye kar raha hain !!!! “ still reverberate in my ears- Were they out of a serious complex or authentic ones pertaining to his perceptions???? this question still remains a dilemma.

Day 1- February 15th
Probably I had got used to sleeping at 4 and waking at 7… but today was special with all sorts of apprehensions hogging the limelight in my thoughts…. Tinkle had set the stage wrongly…… so the day started with a heavy flak or dose for him which included slangs I could never have amassed had I not been so petrified deep within.
The ‘food’ for me was Pepsi and chips--- someone who has been so nutrition conscious all his life!!! Amazing how things change within mini seconds…..
Well it was all chaos for me during the inaugural ceremony…. Compliments to Richaria sir and Piyali Mam for holding the stage without giving away the slightest of indications about the turbulence which was in attendance backstage. The events followed over the day and received colossal appreciations.
The whole fraternity was enjoying and in the backdrop of the plethora of events were me and Robby sir …. too worried about the visit of officials from the excise department- they threatened us of posing strong hindrances during the final day if we did not pay up the excise tax or the offering potraying the conventional alternative..!!!! We did not have a single penny to offer. I had a performance in the solo dance…. Ankur brought me the shirt which I adorned, it was a performance with no practice whatsoever (I would have done the same steps even if I had practiced…. Never mind !!).I was ecstatic to see the crowd relishing their time in various modes of formation. Ended the day on a pathetic note, severely hurt a very dear friend and had a seemingly tough time that night.
An apology is a good way to have the last word.

Day 2
Was at the front by 9 in the morning, we had sold no tickets at all and I was very discouraged to note the promotions team clinching on to every possible excuse to cover up for their failure….. petty politics at its fore and I could do nothing since the persons involved were seniors and any strong reaction from my side would have caused great panic to our already fragile unit (No dishonour in admitting that our team was quite frail).
Filled up the forms of Mr. & Ms.Aurora…. the organizers had given a page to fill up at our own will…….. I dedicated it to my parents thanking them for the manner in which they have nurtured me and showering upon me affection which has been unconditional augmented with considerate criticism.
We also had a group dance for which I never got enough time to practice… who cares!!!!. Time ran like Ganges at its full fury and I found myself on stage (adorning Chauhan’s grey suit) as a participant of Mr.Aurora. Unlike my fellow participants I remained preoccupied with the financial state with regards to the next days historic performance by Euphoria… and believe me I could not lob it away even on stage. Was exponentially relaxed when compared to last year, and relished the situational round and the consequent altercation with Piyali mam. Synchro funk followed and for the first time we were performing on stage with props.
The pits had just begun to dig their way… !!!!!, a breach in the agreement on the part of VLCC and while everyone was enjoying War of DJ’s … it was me, Robby sir , Marut and Saurabh sir sitting on the floor besides the library…. What more could one ask for??? I was wearing formals and so was Robs!!!!
My joy of winning the personality contest and synchro funk just could not surface, we were seriously deficit and I muttered profuse prayers … everything had to be in place the next day.

Day 3
The sound and lighting from Delhi arrived at 5 in the morning … I scanned the venue at 5 in the morning with Kushwah…. Was taken aback by the volume of the inventory…. Are we on for a Filmfare or something???? This is what struck me.

By 9 I woke up many of my sleeping batchmates and juniors …. Sincere gratitude towards all of you… what you people did that morning laid the foundation for the luminous evening that day. The first year juniors carried the cots from the basement to the venue. These were last minute requirements from Euphoria……
I could spot wrinkles on the faces of Robs, Nitin, Uday sir, Ayush, Ankit, Divij that morning… but did not point them out … for obvious reasons. I had a terrible brawl with Palash Sen that morning …. that left me crying in one corner of block ‘D’ !!!. Did not want to catch anybody’s attention during the half hour I took to regain my composure. When the band came for testing, Palash probably realised the constraints we had and the amount of energy we guys had put in materialising the deal. A compromise was reached with minor altercations.
The crater of financial deficit still laid large and had to be filled in the space of half a day.
The prize distribution started without any presence of our esteemed faculty members… it was only Sahu sir…. What were we doing all this for???? Another pinch of salt on my wounds.
The speech that I gave as the General Secretary was without any written speech whatsoever…. I had to pose between pauses, as if I was reading it out from the letter pad I carried ………… How could on chalk out a speech in such circumstances… atleast I could not , the more capable people definitely can…!!!!
It was Marut who was at the gate till the end of the Euphoria nite selling tickets… and believe me mate…. What you did stands apart as the most gallant contributions towards Aurora ’06. The efforts put by other volunteers on one side…. and yours on the other.
VLCC helped out in the finishing moments and we just about managed to grasp the frontier. Euphoria did come to Gwalior for the first time and returned satisfied.

P.S.- WHAT PAINS ME IS DESPITE THE ARDENT EFFORTS PUT UP BY US …. PEOPLE STILL CRITICISE THE MINOR ALTERCATIONS WHICH OCCURRED IN THE PROCESS. MOROVER A COMPARISON BETWEEN “ AURORA” AND “INFOTSAV” IS VERY MUCH EVIDENT…. WHY DON’T PEOPLE MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS?????….
AURORA’ 06 WAS A COMPLETE FAILURE LEST 'ACTION SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS'.

Sanjeev @ Aurora ' 06

2006-02-02T08:17:00.000-08:00

Just came back from one of the frustrating rendezvouz with one our esteemed professors of our coveted college. It is said that one needs to be a fighter in all aspects, perseverance being the key, never feel lost no matter what the adversities staring right in to your eyes at close quarters.
I've been a patient listener to advices which define a SYSTEM in profound terms..... something like it is like transfer function.... the input is given and when it is transformed into an output, it is very much the input but with refinement and accountability overheads added to it.People at their best, when it comes to flabbergasted remarks as if they were established peers or saints professing disciplinary and moral virtues.

Well i guess majority of the hands will rise with unanimity if i ask this question - How many of you like to be showered upon by praise and upteem recognition????

Precisely the reason I took charge in organising the annual cultural festival of our insitute-AURORA (this name really scares me now.. !!!!).

"Theory is synonymous with practical only until you really put the theory into practice"----- wise people will catch what i just edged with both hands. That was way back in November, and this is early February -- i am still under terrible scrutiny from within regarding the way i have gone about things.

Just highlighting the ire arising out of my involvement with Aurora--

The distances i have fashioned with my close buddies -

I have a strong reason to write this at the helm. It is no dishonour to confess that I never had much to say in this regard before, but, semi-colons are spiraling into colons , commas are whirling into full-stops ……NOW.

People brand me as obtrusively ambitious and obsessed with Aurora, how can I explain what matters most to me intricately is your presence besides me. I sense my buddies wanting to associate and contribute but equally reluctant to approach me …… perhaps something holds them back which I would not like to explicitly highlight. Corollary summarises my detachment with my intimate buddies. I spend my days in my room craving for a conversation however minimal it is destined to be.

Work is to be done more out of passion than a crave for recognition- It was me and Nitin sir who were here during the winter vacations, gruelling for sponsorships. My mom was the only source of motivation often highlighting that more people would join in once they sense some recognition in the offing. The deal with VLCC which brings Euphoria into IIITM was framed and reframed repeatedly…… in the process I realized its not ‘ME’ who has accomplished this credential…. Its infact ‘HIM’ who takes charge at the right time. People want to be officially within the committees even when they know deep within themselves that their contribution towards the cause is zilch.

Team Psychology- We now have a team of volunteers all being a part of the vicious cycle of complacency and aloofness. Pretty difficult to get things worked out especially if seniors are involved. However, I know you won’t be reading this but let me thank you, still--- Robby sir, Nitin sir, Ankit, Ayush and Pranjal. If all works out well, I owe you people much more than the customary party.

GATE- Hmmm…. Why am serious about this at all???? Mujhe to MBA karni hain. A pretty stupid sway but I am certainly not able to devote much time towards this endeavour. Sorry mom n dad …. I know you will be hurt if you come to know what your son is really up to, over here.

SYSTEM- I perceive we as students are being crushed silently in the cold war which exists between the higher authorities in our college ( I am trying my best to stay away from the controversial jargon). I reminisce with acute nostalgia the poem in which Papa asks Johney(the student) wether he is eating sugar or perhaps lying. Here in IIITM, Johney is requesting, appealing and sometimes even yelling for Papa for the slightest possible assistance. Nonetheless, Papa is preoccupied with his own sphere. Johney is left on his kneels in a remote corner within our academic block of magnanimous proportions---- sobbing, curling and waiting for the hand which would embrace his shoulders. He’s still waiting……………….

Thanks to blog world—my punching bag.

TAGged Reply

2005-11-09T21:03:00.000-08:00

Explications.... I find none
In this world am I the only one ...
(That’s how I begin to think before starting to write about myself !!!)

Fate has assigned its share of ignominies and exhilarations
Then why am I always on a look out for manifestations.

One who strives to be a perfectionist at times and one who is content being the common man (prone to making mistakes) during the other times.

Am intricately religious, one who strives to visit a temple everyday, recite prayers regularly…. That’s because I believe in a cosmic world where vibrations are both virtuous as well as unpleasant.

I believe it’s my hard work, emotional and spiritual quotient that help me carry the flag in this world … the intelligence quotient takes the backseat.

Pretty unstable when it comes to mood swings… I may feel lovely one moment… equally depressing the other moment…. Do not show it to the world nonetheless !!!

Am very poor in expressing my emotions…. though I have received a comment that my eyes say it all!!!! Never mind.

A green apple is most welcome anytime, anyplace, anywhere.

It’s my humble perception that I am a jack of all trades (to an extent) but still searching for the trade that I can master.

Am a dreamer with a difference …. even my dreams confine to the practicalities of life… weird isn’t it???

Poor again in initiating conversations and sustaining them…. that’s because there is an inherent quantity of showcasing involved which really irritates me.

Don’t understand this …. but I just cannot shed my Cassanova image be it school, college or even my colony for that matter….. Girls find every action of mine as an attempt to cast an impression on them…. believe me this is notated after a handsome number of feedbacks from the opposite sex.

I think I should have written this at the top, my idol in life is my Dad… he has infused within me a judicious mix of honesty, integrity, discipline and vibrance… more by action than words or advice…. hence I learnt a lot by watching him over the years.

My Mom is a storehouse of unconditional affection and a considerate critic at the same.

Cricket was my passion in my schooldays but I relinquished my passion for a seat in IIITM (probably).

School Topper in class X Board examinations….. perhaps, one of the summit achievements pertaining to academics.

I believe that one is admitted into a never-ending school named ‘life’… where one needs to learn through comprehension all throughout.

Like listening to Lucky Ali n Bryan Adams in particular.

Its my stimulations or actions and thoughts out of excitement and scurry which often play spoilsport for me.

I have a pathetic sense of humour, though my wits are prohibitive many times bailing me out of difficult recalcitrant situations.

I may be an extrovert and eloquent from the exterior but the intense feeling of ardor, within me, is way too possessive and dictating at times.

Live in a constant apprehension as to how life will be without my ardent friend(s), if ever….. it were to be… in future.

Life outside my house is synonymous with a trap of treacherous emotions for me….. will consider it as a job well done if I get through without leaving behind a contrite trail.

Well I just gave one extra in the flow…that’s for the delayed reply to the tag…..
Chao

My Unpretentious and Convoluted Insight into two years of stay in IIITM - Semester-II

2005-10-21T12:41:00.000-07:00

SEMESTER-II

We (Me, Akshay, Adi n others) boarded Taj early in the morning, but were late in reaching Gwalior because of dense fog enroute. Poor Shivanshu bore the lion’s share of the pulling each other’s leg affair…. He was even nomenclatured with his present addressals then.

We celebrated the New Year in Jaipur with few of our seniors. We put up at Rahul sir’s place where the hospitality was superlative. The dinner we had at Choki-Dhani was a treat beyond comparisons…….not only in terms of quantity, but also the inherent eminence involved in the process of serving a starving individual…… the calls of ‘ Padharo SA ‘, ‘Baitho SA’, ‘Thoda aur khao SA’, still find faint reverberations in my ears. We had a stupendous taste of Rajasthani food and hospitality at the same.

I was drawn into the Data Structures and Client-side scripting languages. Semester-I had its wedges of ‘Bakar’, however I liked to confine myself in my room remaining pre-occupied with academics or IT magazines.
Akshay, Uniyal, Ankur, Ankit made it a point to come over to my room almost daily, mocked the sudden alterations in my attitude. I gave them stupid replies—something like I consider it a waste of precious time even when it came to watching movies.
The seriousness lasted a month, I again got back to the old ways… only difference being I started spending appreciable time in the library. Nothing much happened during early and mid January, I reminisce myself as being a taciturn observer of the normal tide of events and exaggerated explanations of the same.

The festive epoch was soon to come….

The month of February, brought a surrear joy as me and Ankit won the Double Wicket Cricket Tournament (one of the few completed endeavors in IIITM….. I must say!!!)
Even now, I evoke the two overs when we garnered about 28 to 30 runs in EACH, Arvind Sir and Shivanshu being the unfortunate sufferers.

Subsequently, a blue streak of northern light showed upon the IIITM campus- the name was Aurora’04. Well!!! Don’t get cajoled by the narration ….. I remember the Chief Guest’s introductory statement… something synonymous with the following lines:-

“On this solemn occasion my memories go back to the days when I was one among you, and used to witness the inaugural ceremony of our college’s cultural event THOUGH
The number was far more then , than what’s visible right now….”

The three days of Aurora have marked groovy recollections of fun and fervidness, TRENDZ was consummate …. I danced both solo and group (as usual…..) by the way, I was one of the hot properties of IIITM then, as dancers are always appreciated in their respective first years, its only when I performed the same reiterated steps in the following years …. the student fraternity realized that I am game only for a handful.
Well!!! that’s how I’ll plead my case in the court of justifications.
However, the Mr. Aurora contest infused within me the poise and buoyancy which I am carrying forward to date. Am still livid at my dim-witted retort in the judge’s question round where I inaugurated the centralized AC plant , appointed 20 faculty members and built an auditorium for Aurora, as the director of IIITM 10 years from then. Nonetheless, I regard the runners-up title in a personality contest in my very first year at college as one of my foremost achievements.

Infotsav’04 rolled up and folded without any ruckus. Finally my second majors in IIITM dawned (SMEARING THE MOST TESTING TIMES IN MY TIMESTAMP…..
… quote ----- PERSONAL REASONS----- unquote)

As always the gushing and rushing moments… (did not have many but definitely the most notorious till date)

• A minor altercation with Akshay due to gross misunderstandings…… in the same inhalation, I’ll say he’s one of the most considerate friends I’ve made in IIITM….. I do not hesitate to share my intricate tribulations with him.

• I won’t state this explicitly, but the incident before the majors bore a tremendous brunt on my ethical dogma (I was always a proud person in this aspect before…). I must confess that it took me long to become conscious of the ignominy I had caused to my conscience and the affected persons.
Let me tell you, this incident and my suspension from college during my 3rd semester mark the most defining moments of traits…. I learnt to accept the cons within my character…. Moreover, learnt to confess my mistakes both intricately and externally.

CONFESSION seems to be synonymous with an effort to sever an obstinate pile, but all it takes is a humble acceptance of your blunders juxtaposed with an over-ride of your self-esteem. Once accomplished, life will take a drastic U-turn, it’ll seem as if it had never been better….. Please appreciate these views as they are penned out of experience.

All Virtuous Traits Come With A Bubble Reputation

2005-10-10T07:48:00.000-07:00

Three years in IIITM, have been a judicious mix of the occasional invigorating experiences juxtaposed with the perennial ignominies (unfortunate developments---- is my implication).

I infer that, the state outside the watch over walls of our saccharine dwellings is arduous, to be very polite. As a teenager, I always dreamt of spending time in isolation, as it aroused a prodigious sense of adventure within me, where I would be free to tread the mill of my existence within the realm of my sole perceptions. The very contemplation of pursuing education with hostel accommodation sent shrills down my vertebrae.

Looking back, I cannot help but smile at my inanity, a smile that conceals thedisenchantment with regards to my innate dream of the past.
With deep regret I confess to have fallen prey to the ‘TRAPS’ of life- the EMOTIONAL TRAPS to be precise and, concise at the same. It sometimes gets so TOXIC that I feel like making a insipid dash towards oblivion.
Over the last year, I instilled within me a healthy conscience as result of regular prayers,
pleasant thinking and convincing actions which exhorted me towards the incomparable source of bliss in a dignified manner….. but probably as nature has it etched in its directives that -

-- ALL VIRTUOUS TRAITS COME WITH A BUBBLE REPUTATION

the moment you make the slightest contact, the bubble ruptures leaving behind a soul which can do nothing but be remorseful, wishing ardently … if apologies could set right the unfortunate mistakes…. ALAS.
I made the mistaking of overriding the budding superciliousness (arrogance, egoism, etc etc to name a few..) within me, by unconsciously attributing myself to the various peaks in the context of fame and success.
Now at this juncture, I find myself weak and impatient (ONCE AGAIN…) …… knowing fully well what I am doing wrong ….. somehow, am able to do nothing about it. I feel proud to think of the days when I achieved my purpose with dedication and perseverance without worrying of the insurmountable odds that existed then. Today when I am much safer (with very few odds against me)….. I feel cowardice, failure in being perseverant and constant unwanted apprehensions are mocking me at my face…..

Perhaps I would have been better off at home with mom n dad around, who would sense my solitude, make me do the inevitable prayers (reference: Carrot and Stick Policy), counsel me and advise me with examples within and outside my family. My brother and bhabhi would have enlivened my world with their terrific situational humour (I have a pathetic sense of humour, though I am perceived by others as having prohibitive wits).
I’ll again go back into the shell for the time being, regain the composure, the tenacity, the vigour, the zeal moreover the temperament to be emotionally stable.

I have no words to express the contentment I have experienced in writing my long enduring thoughts. Please don’t brand me as an pessimist after going through this blog, its just my experiment to change the direction of the high-rise tide in my life, at present. Sincerely hoping for success in this endeavour.

My unpretentious and convoluted insight into 2 years of stay in IIITM - Semester I

2005-10-10T05:42:00.000-07:00

SEMESTER- I
Day 1- I was keyed up to the brim while boarding the Shatabdi Express. Mixed feelings were surfacing … one reminiscing me of my past in school and DCE… the other thrilling me towards whatever lay ahead in ABV-IIITM.
I was disappointed at the first stare across the campus but the, then Director, Mr D.P.Aggarwal was impressive. I felt I need to emulate his confidence and veracity.

Johney was the first person to whom I introduced myself, next was Ankit followed by the bunch in the hostel (remember meeting Raghavan, Jayant, Girraj, Sudhanshu…..).
Among the girls it was Vandana Mam initially, Anubha and Jyoti were the first from our batch.
Have fond memories of the first stroll with Dhruv, the guy radiated virtuosity throughout the chat. Left me uncertain as to how do I situate myself within this batch of pinnacle performers ?????

Ragging was never an apprehension, my precedent rendezvous helped me carry the flag through troubled waters without much ado…. of course the numerous stumbles are not ruled out.
The preeminent part was the approach with which our batchmates tried to establish intimacy (or sometimes distance themselves…) from each other in the earlier days.

It goes without saying that the first impression cast goes a long way… I could not help admiring people like Johney, Dhruv, Jayant, Ankit, Bharat, Nikhil, Marut, Anubha, Jyoti for the moderations in their conduct during the initial days ( I developed a predilection towards them ).

Next were the festivals starting with Parichay’2003 and Topa’2003…. Were fun!!!.
I state confidently that all hands will raise with unanimity with regards to the find of Topa’03- Ashutosh Uniyal, guy of immense brilliance and grasping power. Till date people exclaim that he does not do justice to his potential…. In the same breadth they are thankful for the same.

Pages kept turning while we got accustomed to the hostel life, method of study, ragging as well. Cricket, table tennis and badminton under lights were the highlights.
On the academic front, the gravity of many of my batchmates ….Marut, Bahri, Yogesh were stupendous springs of motivation for me. Ankit, Ashutosh and myself bought our PC’s after several rounds of consultations from our seniors.

All these accounted for the first three months….. ,meanwhile, Gwalior did not engross me by any means.

The cricket match between India and Australia has marked groovy recollections…. The cheering and the pail of slangs flinged on Symonds and Agarkar!!!!
The final month was by far most exciting- my team with Dhruv made it to the badminton finals but we were, sort of, comprehensively beaten by Prateek sir and Marut. No infamy in being packed down by a superior side. Memories of our official Freshers are still embossed on my grey cells.(….remember Uniyal having a tremendous bout of fever but still made it to the party, only to come back and fall unconscious on the bed….. another week off !!!!!).
We could finally walk hands on shoulders with our seniors, saying hi rather than good mornings and afternoons!!!!
Finally majors dawned, next memoir was myself leaving for home in Taj, eager to discuss the past semester with my soulmate(s) in Delhi.

Life is a mixed bag and likewise was this semester… I discuss the gashing moments now, which made ME vulnerable to rips and trips, CAN’T say about OTHERS…!!!!.
Would like to specially mention that the following are purely my sensitivities …….
NO pun intended, NO fun either..!! Please do not treat the following as themes for heated exchanges within the group.

--- The CR elections and the subsequent altercations with the seniors in the hostel seemed untoward to me. I’d like to quote the centre of attraction then-Alok- is indeed a man with a golden heart. It’s his stimulations which play the spoilsport. Keep a check on them mate and no one can stop you from escalating.

---The question papers episode still seems incongruous. No more comments!!!!

---I noticed guys took great pride in associating themselves with girls…. Looked down upon those who did not do so. People used to concoct their own stories pertaining to this topic, on many occasion I sensed the crocodile in the sea, nevertheless kept mum. The whole proposition seemed obtuse(the most decent word). I was always of the opinion that one spawns his identity at his own behest…. Arrogance due to companionship is nothing but perfidy. (Emotional support is a different issue….. cannot say about physical supports).

---My first visit to the GH turned out to be a bamboozle. Don’t exactly remember the occasion, anyways, let me quote Miss X’s (for obvious reasons) words for me and Dhawal who was alongside me then…..(I overheard her whispering to Miss Y !!!!)
(The English translation)
For Dhawal—he’s a cute guy, seems sane n smart. Don’t be fastidious, he looks like a long shot.
I expected something far more superlative n encouraging… BUT….

For Sanjeev—yeh to pehle din se hi apne liye ladki dhoond raha hain..
So blunt… so perilous… I was amazed how somebody could gather an impression without even talking to me. I thought Miss X possessed tremendous insight….perhaps came out of a dozen affairs.

That signifies the nail clippings for semester I … thank you for patiently reading my piece…. The other semesters follow in the subsequent mails..