"How strange is the lot of us mortals! Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he sometimes thinks he senses it. But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people -- first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is wholly dependent, and then for the many, unknown to us, to whose destinies we are bound by the ties of sympathy. A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving... "I have never looked upon ease and happiness as ends in themselves -- this critical basis I call the ideal of a pigsty. The ideals that have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth. Without the sense of kinship with men of like mind, without the occupation with the objective world, the eternally unattainable in the field of art and scientific endeavors, life would have seemed empty to me. The trite objects of human efforts -- possessions, outward success, luxury -- have always seemed to me contemptible.
"My passionate sense of social justice and social responsibility has always contrasted oddly with my pronounced lack of need for direct contact with other human beings and human communities. I am truly a 'lone traveler' and have never belonged to my country, my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart; in the face of all these ties, I have never lost a sense of distance and a need for solitude..."
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Right said mate........ and I would echo the above words to a great extent. It has been these unusual thoughts that have usurped my mind of late. I am beginning to realise the larger intended purpose of my creation. And the incorrigible entropy is to facilitate the much needed change in others' lives. We all know that entropy increases as a matter and energy in the universe that eventually culminates into a state of inert uniformity... but then its the entropy that brings about the uniformity. This is a logical testimony to the fact that there exists within us a supernatural capability of becoming the harbinger of change in other people's lives....... and keep bringing them until they fear no further change, a state where they would accept change as visceral.
Lot of things have happened of late. Visited the environmentally blessed UK (although with a task to point out chasms in BT's environmental strategy), travelled extensively (although had only 2 completely free weekends out of the total of 6 weekends) and most importantly developed the art of initiating new conversations and making new friends. Although, there seems to be a lot of uncertainity in the future in terms of my location and profile... even at a month's interval......... I seem to be enjoying the precarious signals that life seems to offer. However, all said and done - the recent travails have instilled a sense of self belief along with an evident boldness to give it back during times of opprobrium. And this is what I call the state of verity, where there exists a judicious mix of immanence and transcendence in thoughts, actions and words.
Swati would definitely agree that I would have brought tons of change in her outlook towards life. Although, we may take different roads up north and south some time soon, there remains the fearless ability to darn that we would call a mutual contribution to each other's strenghts. I may not be able to do a lot for her as it has always been the other way round.
Pankaj may struggle with his work-life balance, but I have always tried to wrap that blanket of positivity that he so crazily aspires for. Pessimism does him in on most occassions but I should continue to give him my wise (atleast I would want to believe that) conunsel time and again.
Ruch had a huge conundrum to come out of....... and I guess my perspectives brought about the much needed change in her life. I would always have to play the role of the precursor and ensure the sustenance she so richly deserves. Notwithstanding, all that she is doing for me.
Bangalore Gang has been the highlight of the numerous memories of late. I played the role of a mere observer on most occassions, often leveraging on the good work of many others. But here I am, at a stage when I can effectively hearld the change that each one so dearly wishes to have. Badly want to help Dhruv and Yatendra get a new chore for themselves, but my realm of influence seems to be extremely limited now. Its been great to have Anuj in my team and it would be great if we could complement each other in the MBS initiatives as well. I am sure for the numerous questions he has, my answers would fortell a stronger approach for him. Would want to spend a few hours with Dhawal, Anubha, Suman and Marut and am sure can bring out a novel thought dimension in their outlook towards life (Dhawal seems to be toughest nut to crack... although he easily wilted under the lavish praise that I subjected him to in my recent email)
Corbett Gang has an intersection with the Bangalore Gang, but have to revive my interactions with each one to a degree beyond the cursory greetings (read ridiculing). Did try to find a chore for Khandu ji but it was heartening to know that he found his way to Mumbai and is doing what a Baniya does best. Jayant continues to crib but its more about the cup he choses to have the coffee rather than the coffee. But the contemporary highlight has been the stitch in the straw with Sharma and I tried to the best of my limited abilities to help him with his letters and essays. It was a great meeting him (...I just cannot wait to get back to London to visit the unexplored). Akshay, Alok and Uniyal would have their own turbulations but I have noticed that pep-talks have started to make unimaginable differences now. Looking beyond the gang, I would consider myself grown in stature if I manage to change the two unfathomable examples of obstination - Johney and Sanjay. These guys are gems who have to be told that to shine is an obvious trait they need to exhibit. I sometimes wonder at the ways in which they tried to enshroud their skill sets.
It is also a time when I strive to bring about the difference in my family beyond monetory and proletarian contributions. Although the efforts would entail statutory warnings, I guess every change requires one and it is only me who can do so.
Of late... quite a few friends have voiced their concerns over me being single. At the same time, they agree that I have evolved as a person and their perception of me has undergone volumes of change (for good .. is my understanding). Although it catches me unawares every single time (and am quite bemused whether I am really so)... but the retort I gave to Anubha today caught my attention. I told her that I will be the changed person, that I am, only till the time I fall for someone (yet again...). For a change, the distant relationship(s) ensured that I took time out to explore many more personas (read Bangalore Gang and many other common friends) and it has been an enthralling experience.
PS: Feel sorry for Ipek. She brought me a drink and I was not there to acknowledge the kind gesture. Someone please activate my international connection soon so that I call and apologise. I might need an approval from Doc... but what reason do I give him???????????
