Quarter-life Crisis

Maybe we all r going through this "Being Twenty-Something".
They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as "confused" as you, often musing the same things about you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone, scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out....... its upto to you.... derive roses out of thorn beds or make rose petals seem synonymous to thorns... chao...

Lonely Extrovert

Can extroverts ever find themselves lonely, morose, trampled and recalcitrant.????????
Well personally non-affirmative .... going by the jargons but then, its these unicorns of parallelisms which petrify me towards an affirmation..... probably got way above ur heads..... usually all my intricate thoughts do the same.

Here I am in abv-iiitm campus still undecided when to go home, still undecided over various issues and the trail of indecision does not seem to leave me because the issues in which i'm decided are not being accepted or appreciated by the indecisive entities....... probably another aircraft of a thought.

Am progressing towards a disparate search of a passion which will help me sustain my existence, if not now, then atleast some years hence. A passion which will bring a zero slope to my graph rather than initiating the negative slope which we all contemplate some time in future.
On the academic front, i could finally rope in a topic of my interest in BTP and am overwhelmed at the support of Prof. Rakesh Shrivastava in this endeavour of mine.
Coming back !! What i fear the most is the "propaganda" of several individuals, the unstinted anger of several " minds", the overflowing distances and many more intangible connivances.
Am tired, weak, crippled and seemingly incompetent in tolerating my grievances...... its a disparate search of the "brave" and the "determined" and the "meticulous" which many of my mates have branded me as ..... in the past.
Will be off to delhi soon,,,,, probably need to do some soul- searching, Maslow would give me a tight slap if i claim to reach the last slab in his pyramid-- self actualization.
Still huge strides to be taken..... but for that you need to be a physical existence which i cease to be at times........ only at times mind you !!!!! This chain of venting out your woes and collecting them needs to be broken ....... somehow or the other.////