What cannot be cured must be endured

Find myself afflicted on several counts...... its always that i write these grieving verses.... the grappling health problems have been toxic to say the least.
Delhi is battling with dengue, chickungunya and several viruses which haven't been nomenclatured yet, and when i got sick at home, i was made to shudder several ounces of blood, and all the test were negative, thankfully. Then what is the 'pons asinorum '????? I used a really heavy word there...... the meaning makes an interesting reading and comprehension..... sounds Latin to me if the origin is concerned.

Coming back, its a disconsolate remark that the college here had has reached its plateau and on its way towards the downward decline..... if the Gartner Hype Cycles are consulted for an effective judgement on the same !!!!
There is this girl who drives me crazy every now and then, all my earnest efforts in vain---- and i find myself penning down something which has been way too personal for the past seven years, perhaps thats the magnitude of affliciton and hence the visible dereliction.
And my poise and nonchalance have been tested of late..... the doc has made me wary of several aspects, I sense a repercussion very soon!!! Whatever???
I derive solace form the line "What cannot be cured must be endured" - the propagandas, diatribes (learnt this word in CL), the insinuations, the maskings and the coyness. I fail to define my role at this juncture in college, something which i had been very confident about in the past. Its this indecision which leaves me in obstinate conundrum and i am taking time off, time off from every surrounding event...... giving myself the relevant required time.
The pit falls have been experienced very early, some have been self-dug..... but i plan to pipeline my renewed vigour over these cognitives.

Enjoying a wretched MBA out here---- and how can one keep himself perenially motivated??? and that too for a period of five years.....
Happy Belated Diwali to one and all !!!!!

Whats the point ????

What the fu***ng point???? I seem to enquire myself on every deed of mine.

A lot seems to have transgressed in the past….. but the walk down the power corridor has finally reaped….. though for a very small stretch, I finally brand myself as one who has been through the thick and thin of the most toxic situation ever in my life.

I sought support sometimes, sometimes I sought isolation--- but I seemed to acquire none. Indeed life had tested me with a very serious hair pin bend, whats more the spirituality quotient seemed to quiver and I was left with mammoth frustrations and bare minimum incisions. What I carry outside the bend is immunity towards snares.

The minors have lost their relevance in my dictionary. My admiration list seems to have a surprise entry in DP, never expected this guy to rise….. his intricate disposition is still a reservation for me… but the way he has networked himself is commendable. I pity the ones who reveal their jealousy in blasphemous ways. One should try and renovate one’s own USP rather than tampering others……. That’s where people seem to lag behind in the race.

Career Laucher has given me direction towards an elusive target, hope to continue and make the best out of the deal. The nitty-gritty’s have been given the first gear which I seem to cross right at the onset these days. The ego, the anger, the sloth, the lust, the jealousy, the greed, the ……. naaaaaaaaaaaahhHHHH !!!!

Its high time I exert myself and retrieve the hidden challenges in my management domain, these two years seem to be crucial and I do not want to repent two years down the line. i need to realise that there is nothing left to prove any more, there is lots left to achieve and only achieve....... i do not need to act in order to cast an impression, incite an admiration or articulate an appreciation, its high time i start working towards being at the other side of my contemplations.
The nascent years of an emerging powerhouse have seemed to commence

chao and cheers to renewed vigour.

The power of SILENCE.....

Silence is golden, perhaps much more than that……

The only problem I have in being silent is that I haven’t been bestowed with an intricate disposition towards being silent. But in the recent past, I tend to ‘brood’ with a sullen guise, the ‘guise’ which sometimes makes me seem synonymous to Hitler brooding over the Alps and hence the usage.

My room serves as the lounge for my ruminations, high up in the third floor overlooking the scenic table mountains of Gwalior, the day is not far when I’ll brood standing over the mountain and the intensity then is going to be much more passionate.
Silence propels towards a second opening, the one which has the element of the wittiness, the drollness, the maturity which is so seriously sought in this world of scratch-your-back strategists. What is essentially required along is patience, which casts of unwanted stimulations and fidgety. The expectation contest has gone overboard now, even the strongest of conveyances could not suffice, the best possible way out of it is ‘silence’ over everything, every time, everywhere.

Not much days left towards the end of my walk (down the power corridor), it really shook up the debauched, and will shake many more to come. Life is all about setting targets and I seem to be moving ahead in this regard with oozing confidence. The spirituality quotient is in doldrums for the first time in the last two years, never had a break this long although it’s only a few days if recounted on paper. The intimates who seem to typecast my gloom need to be cajoled, but I am just not in the right rhythm in this regard, am waiting for my walk to produce the real ‘fruit’.

READ Icon by Fredrick Forsyth, another tussle between the CIA and the KGB, how the author managed to potray KGB in such poor light remains a quandary only which he can throw light upon. But all in all, a wonderful novel about how a Russian leader shielded his fascist beliefs behind his liberal worlds of glory of the motherland and renunciation of unwanted power. And the systematic and logical training methodology of the british intelligence received its fair share of admiration. Got a good insight about the intricacies involved in crucial intelligence operations. Really fear going to Moscow now…. !!!!!

The Raid at Entebbe and Munich exemplifying the Israeli courage forced me to contrast them with Jaswant Singh’s “Call of honour”.

To be or not to be……………….. chao

Hona hain tujhme ... FANNA........

Hmm… it’s a superlative fight within, I must say I cannot cater to the qualms of all but certainly my closet deserves a better treatment, however, how does one justify the ever competitive, ever grudge inducing, ever propelling perceptions????

Brand me as an ambassador one day, as a pauper the next…. !!!!!
Whatever you do, I’ll be by your side, you wish otherwise …. Lest.

The world seems to ask me about my walk through the power corridor, this inquisitive seems disturbing to me at times … !!! Won’t like to give myself away on any pretext, though its compelling within. But definitely, the more you try to stay surreptitious, the more drawn out becomes your identity.
Some presumptuous movement is definitely there, but again the whopping obstacle stays affirm, I’ve to act out of my wits, cannot let the canard carry on , can I???

PL and MnS assignments seem to hog the notoriety for me these days, do not want to internal motivation and wish to adhere to the deadlines….. WISH !!!! its nostalgic to resurface contact with my old conjoins--- Charu, Juhi, Rachita, Robin, Bharat, Gaurav, Chetali, Pankaj …………. I miss those utterances which had the blend of maturity and vivaciousness to them. Those interactions have really taken me this far avoiding the recalcitrant state of affairs (which could have been surreal addition to my woes).

Waiting for the day when I can pen down my arrogance without any blemish.
chao

Envy vs Jealousy

Its been quite some time since I find myself mellowed down … with varying magnitudes at an assortment of junctures, the rationale being my quest to understand the intricacies of the human edge.
The various pedigrees seem to justify their recital and strokes, they play their roles in the skirmish with varying impetus. The cause for unision seems to be more out of jealousy than envy…. since jealousy will propel u to try and scratch the other’s back rather than straightening yours. Envy seems to arouse a healthy competition which fabricates one’s paramount features.

My walk through the power corridoor seems to make me arrogant to the core …(nice rhyme) , I must confess to it even though I have no rhyme or reason…. no capability either, but it’s a stimulating dispute within. Things seem to ease out exponentially when I have a retort to offer to my beloved anonymous, and that too a brute one… and there is no respite in this regard. I am Really thankful to the man who has instilled so many qualities within me ….. had I been party to these kind of pressure tactics right from infancy, it would have been a different ball game by now.


Pretty sad that Shrivastava sir is being made to leave this institute in such circumstances, wish everything falls back in place for him …. as he wished for !!!! I consider it an honour that he remembered me and dispensed those words for me….. they stand to encourage me for a long time from now.
But these bastards are hell bent on screwing up this place, have witnessed some unforgettable episodes of late… they have been very toxic!!!!
I have learnt to swim against the tide though not with proficiency, but this marks a new beginning within me, a benign one. And I have started admiring people around for the wealth of genius they seem to conceal within their skin, and in the same monotonous tone have I started to despise the fictitious glances which never appear to flee my vision.

And i could sense your affection when i ate the mangoes........... mummy !!!

Passing days

"Family is more important than the state"------
"The one who is most envied is the one who has no envy"-----

Quite contrasting statements, but have a profound impact on me these days...... Manish told me about Ain Rand's Fountainhead... i have to read this novel someday..... its as if some kind of an insufflate has been subjected over me.
Well, an act of insolence was rectified by me ..... and finally the far-fetching finance was kicked out of the stadium by me and my mate...........
n WORLD CUP 2006.... WOW!!!!!! i'll brand myself as an ardent fan of Czech Republic.....
Milan Baros and Jan Koller take the startup..... the towering Koller supporting Baros and a deadly combo in the offing.Stupendous play makers in the form of Nedved, Poborsky and Rosicky(his double strike will arouse a sense of excitement within each Liverpool fan.... But they might be praying that he unwinds his magic not against England). The defence is certainly a thing to ponder about.... but its not all that contrite either.

The BTech project seems to treading the right path.... its now time for implementation of the algos on any sector.... and coming out with a business decision will be the real test. Am in a fix wether the health sector or retail sector will be the better proposition. The papers on telecommunication seems to have had an auspicious beginning .... lets check out ..... what Dhruv does with insurance.
Am excited about meeting Anirudh (my nephew) when he comes over to delhi in a short while.... a snobbish boy barely 4 months old.... but already smiling and crying in pipelines....GOD bless you Ani

The Reservation Conundrum

The nation seems to be at its fore when it comes to disapproving the current bill passes by the honourable Parliament of Inida----- the one stating a 27 per cent reservations for the OBC’s in the elite institutions of India(totaling to 49.5 %). Yesterday’s Express stated that many other autonomous and private institutions are also in the net…….. the HRD minister asserting punitive action against the rebels…. not the masses but the administration of the institutions……..
Hence 'this' is being asserted on the institutions and the country….. what an impediment to the vision of Rev. President’s vision of India -2020-------- or REALLY??????

Am forlorn in certain aspects though…….. I’d state that the cabinet ministers are supported by a stream of bright IAS’ and other civil servants…… hence the collective decision and the associated adamancy must have a relevant and strong backing. Its very tranquil on our part to criticize the politicians and their vision….. branding them as fools, corrupt, unethical etc etc….. spare a thought to the development the country is facing under them.

Let me take to some concrete words now, to be admitted to an M.B.A. program, students have to go through a selection process, which includes entrance/admission tests, a group discussion and an interview if the candidate is successful in the written test. The aim of the test is to evaluate, under stress, a candidate's general verbal, mathematical and analytical abilities. Passing the management entrance test in India will require a superior command of the English language, quantities skills and a sharp mind.

NOW read this…… how on earth are you going to visualize the bright students of the nation hailing from less privileged societies and less known colleges/universities — Uttar Pradesh (U.P.), Bihar, Uttaranchal, Rajsthan, Jharkhand and Madhya Pradesh (M.P.) (Data Source : Business World… don’t hold my neck if your state figures out in this !!).

The reservation might give them a chance to compete among their parallels…. Right??? English should not be a bottleneck to success….. and why am I saying this?????
Electricity, health, education, transport, urban planning and rural development sectors are mostly mismanaged and this in need of qualified managers….. will an IIM grad opt for this when he has scores of multinationals pusuing him with exponential pay packages. The ostensible talent of our country will be a boon to a foreign enterprise…. but very rarely the public sector of the country……

Imagine a person with the language-brigde but an astute brain, won’t the above mentioned deficient sectors offer him the best opportunities???? Imagine the development he can initiate since he will be well versed with the ethnocentric aspects arising out of a rural background.

These reservation candidates have limitations in their abilities…(sorry if I am insolent !!) but this imperfection augurs perfectly well for the country … and believe me it will a positive step towards INDIA SHINING…. Not the individual shining--- We all owe something to our country…. Don’t we.

P.S.-: Now Now!!!! Arjun singh did not pay me any money to write this…. Nor will I go into the public sector if I were an IIM grad…… but I sincerely believe the govt might have a long term plan for India… a genuine one for me……. Wooing the vote banks remains the prime reason though….. am well aware of those bloody bas*****s.

The GLAD lad

It was Mother's day and i gifted my mom a Nokia 1100 ... it only costs 2200 bucks....... It was Father's day and i presented to my dad the beautiful red checked tie with radiating cuff-links(have i spelt it right).
Its a miniscule compared to what the future beckons in this regards but...... the reason i am thrilled is because these acts mark the initiation.... a surreal one... no doubt. Morover, these were my achievements and i am honoured to share them with my parents.
The tie and the cuff links were a part vast range of men's accessories i won during the Mr. Aurora contest. It would a contentious feeling if i get to see a photograph of my dad sporting them in one of his official tours.
I managed 1600 bucks out of Infotsav'06, bad luck with Avalon and Brouhaha .... but i could have surely done well with Avalon..... Brouhaha was to the best of my efforts. So i was only a partial sponsor, my big bro took care of the rest..... however, its the feeling which matter... right !!!!

Quarter-life Crisis

Maybe we all r going through this "Being Twenty-Something".
They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as "confused" as you, often musing the same things about you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone, scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out....... its upto to you.... derive roses out of thorn beds or make rose petals seem synonymous to thorns... chao...

Lonely Extrovert

Can extroverts ever find themselves lonely, morose, trampled and recalcitrant.????????
Well personally non-affirmative .... going by the jargons but then, its these unicorns of parallelisms which petrify me towards an affirmation..... probably got way above ur heads..... usually all my intricate thoughts do the same.

Here I am in abv-iiitm campus still undecided when to go home, still undecided over various issues and the trail of indecision does not seem to leave me because the issues in which i'm decided are not being accepted or appreciated by the indecisive entities....... probably another aircraft of a thought.

Am progressing towards a disparate search of a passion which will help me sustain my existence, if not now, then atleast some years hence. A passion which will bring a zero slope to my graph rather than initiating the negative slope which we all contemplate some time in future.
On the academic front, i could finally rope in a topic of my interest in BTP and am overwhelmed at the support of Prof. Rakesh Shrivastava in this endeavour of mine.
Coming back !! What i fear the most is the "propaganda" of several individuals, the unstinted anger of several " minds", the overflowing distances and many more intangible connivances.
Am tired, weak, crippled and seemingly incompetent in tolerating my grievances...... its a disparate search of the "brave" and the "determined" and the "meticulous" which many of my mates have branded me as ..... in the past.
Will be off to delhi soon,,,,, probably need to do some soul- searching, Maslow would give me a tight slap if i claim to reach the last slab in his pyramid-- self actualization.
Still huge strides to be taken..... but for that you need to be a physical existence which i cease to be at times........ only at times mind you !!!!! This chain of venting out your woes and collecting them needs to be broken ....... somehow or the other.////

Network Management Security on strike

30 April 2006
There are somethings in life which you remember only in times of crisis or grievances..... this blog world is one of them.... How priorities change with time...... excruciating!!!! I have my Network Management Security major examination tommorow... a five credit subject and here i am typing these words not really sure wether i 'll be able to sustain the two hours of examination tommorow.
This weakness is getting on to me and i know i have a mental heat stroke as well whereby all my neurons have gone on strike (as a part of an legitimate entity "union") which propels me to cast away my patience, my compassion, my tolerance.

ya ... !! i should not tolerate injustice no matter what, and moreso if it has been lingered on. I have been petrified deep within ..... in the past few days some decisions i have taken personify my ignominies.
"Wounds do heal, but the scars remain" which repetitively remind you of your wounds. But in this glorious world, people manage to wipe off their scars....... thanks to anti-stretch mark creams.

I cannot even blink my eyes.... even that is straining like hell... wish i could issue a direct SOS call to almighty. wishing myself the best with tommorow's 5 credit major... i know nothing in it.

goodnight

Not Qualified.......

Well... this is sick... !!! I lost my admit card for GATE 2006, and today i don't know my roll number to see my result. Uniyal tells me that what seperates my roll and his is a difference of twenty. Now i've tried all combinations of four from his number both ahead and behind.... the saga (which longed only two hours and that too in the examination hall) seems to have reaped nothing but despair..... NOT QUALIFIED !!! is what I think i am...... and so i conveyed that to my parents.
308 Kms seemed to make no difference..... i could gather their dissapointment- I offered no excues.... that i am doing MBA or my preparation was without an initiation!!!!
I just hope that i take this a spring of motivation.......... come back to the ground.... and start another earnest endeavour quintessentially aimed at authentic knowledge strides. Pray that NOTHING else disrupts me further...... of course there'll be not one, but, too many.... May i not get perturbed by them

Aurora- the journey behind the scenes.... from Dawn to Dusk

The thought process started when Vineet sir congratulated me in the most fanatical methods I could ever imagine, its understood that it came from someone who was associated with Aurora during his days in college. Many others followed Palash Sen, Pawan sir , Gagan sir, Saurabh sir….. n many more.
The twinkle in the eyes of Robby sir, Nitin sir, Ankit, Ayush seemed more like a flare to me……… indeed they were happy and contentious. Well !! for me, those split seconds, those expressions, those statements, those jiffies MADE IT UP FOR EVERYTHING …………perhaps.
Not for once but for a ton times, would I have felt disheartened, loomy and disgusted, not really understanding that why am I doing so much for a cultural fest after all. Words of my batchmate – “ Itna sab nachne gaane ke liye kar raha hain !!!! “ still reverberate in my ears- Were they out of a serious complex or authentic ones pertaining to his perceptions???? this question still remains a dilemma.

Day 1- February 15th
Probably I had got used to sleeping at 4 and waking at 7… but today was special with all sorts of apprehensions hogging the limelight in my thoughts…. Tinkle had set the stage wrongly…… so the day started with a heavy flak or dose for him which included slangs I could never have amassed had I not been so petrified deep within.
The ‘food’ for me was Pepsi and chips--- someone who has been so nutrition conscious all his life!!! Amazing how things change within mini seconds…..
Well it was all chaos for me during the inaugural ceremony…. Compliments to Richaria sir and Piyali Mam for holding the stage without giving away the slightest of indications about the turbulence which was in attendance backstage. The events followed over the day and received colossal appreciations.
The whole fraternity was enjoying and in the backdrop of the plethora of events were me and Robby sir …. too worried about the visit of officials from the excise department- they threatened us of posing strong hindrances during the final day if we did not pay up the excise tax or the offering potraying the conventional alternative..!!!! We did not have a single penny to offer. I had a performance in the solo dance…. Ankur brought me the shirt which I adorned, it was a performance with no practice whatsoever (I would have done the same steps even if I had practiced…. Never mind !!).I was ecstatic to see the crowd relishing their time in various modes of formation. Ended the day on a pathetic note, severely hurt a very dear friend and had a seemingly tough time that night.
An apology is a good way to have the last word.

Day 2
Was at the front by 9 in the morning, we had sold no tickets at all and I was very discouraged to note the promotions team clinching on to every possible excuse to cover up for their failure….. petty politics at its fore and I could do nothing since the persons involved were seniors and any strong reaction from my side would have caused great panic to our already fragile unit (No dishonour in admitting that our team was quite frail).
Filled up the forms of Mr. & Ms.Aurora…. the organizers had given a page to fill up at our own will…….. I dedicated it to my parents thanking them for the manner in which they have nurtured me and showering upon me affection which has been unconditional augmented with considerate criticism.
We also had a group dance for which I never got enough time to practice… who cares!!!!. Time ran like Ganges at its full fury and I found myself on stage (adorning Chauhan’s grey suit) as a participant of Mr.Aurora. Unlike my fellow participants I remained preoccupied with the financial state with regards to the next days historic performance by Euphoria… and believe me I could not lob it away even on stage. Was exponentially relaxed when compared to last year, and relished the situational round and the consequent altercation with Piyali mam. Synchro funk followed and for the first time we were performing on stage with props.
The pits had just begun to dig their way… !!!!!, a breach in the agreement on the part of VLCC and while everyone was enjoying War of DJ’s … it was me, Robby sir , Marut and Saurabh sir sitting on the floor besides the library…. What more could one ask for??? I was wearing formals and so was Robs!!!!
My joy of winning the personality contest and synchro funk just could not surface, we were seriously deficit and I muttered profuse prayers … everything had to be in place the next day.

Day 3
The sound and lighting from Delhi arrived at 5 in the morning … I scanned the venue at 5 in the morning with Kushwah…. Was taken aback by the volume of the inventory…. Are we on for a Filmfare or something???? This is what struck me.

By 9 I woke up many of my sleeping batchmates and juniors …. Sincere gratitude towards all of you… what you people did that morning laid the foundation for the luminous evening that day. The first year juniors carried the cots from the basement to the venue. These were last minute requirements from Euphoria……
I could spot wrinkles on the faces of Robs, Nitin, Uday sir, Ayush, Ankit, Divij that morning… but did not point them out … for obvious reasons. I had a terrible brawl with Palash Sen that morning …. that left me crying in one corner of block ‘D’ !!!. Did not want to catch anybody’s attention during the half hour I took to regain my composure. When the band came for testing, Palash probably realised the constraints we had and the amount of energy we guys had put in materialising the deal. A compromise was reached with minor altercations.
The crater of financial deficit still laid large and had to be filled in the space of half a day.
The prize distribution started without any presence of our esteemed faculty members… it was only Sahu sir…. What were we doing all this for???? Another pinch of salt on my wounds.
The speech that I gave as the General Secretary was without any written speech whatsoever…. I had to pose between pauses, as if I was reading it out from the letter pad I carried ………… How could on chalk out a speech in such circumstances… atleast I could not , the more capable people definitely can…!!!!
It was Marut who was at the gate till the end of the Euphoria nite selling tickets… and believe me mate…. What you did stands apart as the most gallant contributions towards Aurora ’06. The efforts put by other volunteers on one side…. and yours on the other.
VLCC helped out in the finishing moments and we just about managed to grasp the frontier. Euphoria did come to Gwalior for the first time and returned satisfied.

P.S.- WHAT PAINS ME IS DESPITE THE ARDENT EFFORTS PUT UP BY US …. PEOPLE STILL CRITICISE THE MINOR ALTERCATIONS WHICH OCCURRED IN THE PROCESS. MOROVER A COMPARISON BETWEEN “ AURORA” AND “INFOTSAV” IS VERY MUCH EVIDENT…. WHY DON’T PEOPLE MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS?????….
AURORA’ 06 WAS A COMPLETE FAILURE LEST 'ACTION SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS'.

Sanjeev @ Aurora ' 06

Just came back from one of the frustrating rendezvouz with one our esteemed professors of our coveted college. It is said that one needs to be a fighter in all aspects, perseverance being the key, never feel lost no matter what the adversities staring right in to your eyes at close quarters.
I've been a patient listener to advices which define a SYSTEM in profound terms..... something like it is like transfer function.... the input is given and when it is transformed into an output, it is very much the input but with refinement and accountability overheads added to it.People at their best, when it comes to flabbergasted remarks as if they were established peers or saints professing disciplinary and moral virtues.

Well i guess majority of the hands will rise with unanimity if i ask this question - How many of you like to be showered upon by praise and upteem recognition????

Precisely the reason I took charge in organising the annual cultural festival of our insitute-AURORA (this name really scares me now.. !!!!).

"Theory is synonymous with practical only until you really put the theory into practice"----- wise people will catch what i just edged with both hands. That was way back in November, and this is early February -- i am still under terrible scrutiny from within regarding the way i have gone about things.

Just highlighting the ire arising out of my involvement with Aurora--

The distances i have fashioned with my close buddies -

I have a strong reason to write this at the helm. It is no dishonour to confess that I never had much to say in this regard before, but, semi-colons are spiraling into colons , commas are whirling into full-stops ……NOW.

People brand me as obtrusively ambitious and obsessed with Aurora, how can I explain what matters most to me intricately is your presence besides me. I sense my buddies wanting to associate and contribute but equally reluctant to approach me …… perhaps something holds them back which I would not like to explicitly highlight. Corollary summarises my detachment with my intimate buddies. I spend my days in my room craving for a conversation however minimal it is destined to be.

Work is to be done more out of passion than a crave for recognition- It was me and Nitin sir who were here during the winter vacations, gruelling for sponsorships. My mom was the only source of motivation often highlighting that more people would join in once they sense some recognition in the offing. The deal with VLCC which brings Euphoria into IIITM was framed and reframed repeatedly…… in the process I realized its not ‘ME’ who has accomplished this credential…. Its infact ‘HIM’ who takes charge at the right time. People want to be officially within the committees even when they know deep within themselves that their contribution towards the cause is zilch.

Team Psychology- We now have a team of volunteers all being a part of the vicious cycle of complacency and aloofness. Pretty difficult to get things worked out especially if seniors are involved. However, I know you won’t be reading this but let me thank you, still--- Robby sir, Nitin sir, Ankit, Ayush and Pranjal. If all works out well, I owe you people much more than the customary party.

GATE- Hmmm…. Why am serious about this at all???? Mujhe to MBA karni hain. A pretty stupid sway but I am certainly not able to devote much time towards this endeavour. Sorry mom n dad …. I know you will be hurt if you come to know what your son is really up to, over here.

SYSTEM- I perceive we as students are being crushed silently in the cold war which exists between the higher authorities in our college ( I am trying my best to stay away from the controversial jargon). I reminisce with acute nostalgia the poem in which Papa asks Johney(the student) wether he is eating sugar or perhaps lying. Here in IIITM, Johney is requesting, appealing and sometimes even yelling for Papa for the slightest possible assistance. Nonetheless, Papa is preoccupied with his own sphere. Johney is left on his kneels in a remote corner within our academic block of magnanimous proportions---- sobbing, curling and waiting for the hand which would embrace his shoulders. He’s still waiting……………….

Thanks to blog world—my punching bag.